Woah Mama I'm In Fear For My Life From The Long Arm Of The Law

They call me a no nonsense kinda gal 'cause I will not harbor japes, jests, chicanery, or even light malarkey in my presence. I do however dispense nonsense and have been known to partake in the occasional flim-flam (in the right company), so when people first meet me, my reputation of course preceding me, they find this title to be ill-fitting.

But being the no nonsense kinda gal I am, I don't put much stock in titles. I abhor titles. I have read naery a book for my inability to get past the first line on the cover. I have never, and will never, own property for fear of a title passing into my hands. I just don't take that kind of nonsense.

I was feeling agitated and artblocked yesterday so I decided to give my brain a rest by watching TV and then the next thing I knew these were in front of me

the pearl poet: a knight rides in and he’s ALL green, skin, clothes, armor, everything about him is green.

me: was the horse green

the pearl poet: now, I know the question you will be asking 700 years in the future. yes, the horse was green too.

me: awesome

if my doctors name was house i would wanna know his first name before he does any surgery on me. what if its haunted

I can understand how "modern person thrown into the past gets by pretending to be a healer/doctor" is as surprisingly common of a trope as it is. I mean I'm fluent enough at bullshitting to be pretty sure I could pull it off to impersonate a doctor in any time pre-1800s. If I have no idea what something is or how to treat it, I could just get the opinion of the other whatever-passes-as-medical-professionals around, but if their suggestions sound like bullshit I'm not doing it. And I'll beat the shit out of anyone suggesting bloodletting or mercury. With my healing stick. I've tied little bells on it, that jingle comically with every smack.

The awesome curative powers of my healing stick come from two separate sources: Placebo, and me using it to beat anyone trying to give my patients mercury.

Hey, here is some new frustrating discourse.

I'm going to clear this up super duper quick.

And then we can move on and discuss more important things.

Okay?

Here goes...

Nicolas Cage is an incredible actor who is very bad with money so he has to act in terrible movies because otherwise they will repossess his dinosaur skull collection.

But even when he is in terrible movies with terrible writing he refuses to phone in his performances. And sometimes when you are acting your ass off while saying some of the dumbest dialogue ever conceived it can give the appearance the acting is the issue rather than the writing and story.

Hayden Christensen knows that feeling all too well.

So next time you see Nic Cage in a B movie acting a fool, just know he probably bought some new shrunken heads and forgot to pay the mortgage on his volcano island.

Hate how lighting a candle does wonders to my mood. Like wowwww. Grug like fire? Grug not sad anymore because Fire in Cave? Wow. Real predictable of Grug.

cracking myself up thinking about the movement towards simplified forms in cave paintings

For a guy who grew up in the bayou, Kermit ain't got an ounce of country in him.

you ever see a post and know immediately “oh i’m integrating this one into my vocabulary”