To My Uk Trans People And Allies Out There.

My girlfriend and I talk a lot about our different generations of queerness, because she was doing queer activism in the 1990s and I wasn’t.

And she’s supportive of my writing about queerness but also kind of bitter about how quickly her entire generation’s history has disappeared into a bland “AIDS was bad, gay marriage solved homophobia” narrative, and now we’re having to play catch-up to educate young LGBTQ+ people about queer history and queer theory. It gets pretty raw sometimes.

I mean, a large part of the reason TERFs have been good at educating the young and queer people haven’t is, in the 80s and 90s the leading lights of TERFdom got tenured university positions, and the leading lights of queerdom died of AIDS.

“Excuse us,” she said bitterly the other day, not at me but to me, “for not laying the groundwork for children we never thought we’d have in a future none of us thought we’d be alive for.”

Not quite the great escape

Bluebottle: "How are we going to get out of here!?"

Seagoon: "Don't worry lad - this evening I received a cake from a friend, and guess what was inside it?"

Bluebottle: "You mean...?"

Seagoon: "Yes! Raisins!"

we've lost an amazing talent.

Simple explanation of the bills that farmers in India are protesting - in TikTok form!

I’ve seen multiple people genuinely asking whats wrong with playing their music on a speaker/their phone in public rather than through headphones. While it baffles me that you can’t reason it out I’m taking it in good faith that you genuinely don’t know - so here’s a list of reasons you shouldn’t:

- It sounds bad. It doesnt matter if people like the song, you might be close enough to your phone speaker for it to sound largely as intended, but everyone else is getting a distorted mess. 

- Unwanted noise is extra stimulation in the already overpowering public space. Yes this is particularly bad for neurodivergent people but I actually want to acknowledge that this effects Everyone. Everyone has a stimulation threshold and unwanted music easily pushes people closer to it.

- Its distracting/disruptive. People want to focus on their own conversations, listen to their own music through their earbuds, or just be alone with their thoughts. Your music is intruding. 

- Differing taste. This one is less significant but people around you just dont always like the same music you do. In extreme cases they might actively hate a song you’re playing. 

- People have the right to as close to silence as they can get. If they’re in a shop playing obnoxious music they can leave, they can change the radio in their car, they can skip the song on their playlist. They have no control over what you are putting on and in bus situations they can’t get away from you. 

- Any other number of reasons; Maybe your music is offensive, maybe its uncensored and there are children about, maybe someone just got horrible news and your perky feelgood song feels like salt in the wound, maybe someone’s sick or hungover or in pain and your music feels like a drill to the skull.  You might think your music is good, it might make you smile after a hard day. Nobody is saying dont listen at all, just put in earphones. To everyone around you its the equivilent of a drunk guy singing loudly and off key at the back of the bus. Maybe it makes some people smile to think he’s having a good time, maybe some people are scared his lack of boundaries will mean he could act out, maybe some people wish he would just shut up. 

Education is bad… for the rich

srsly tho this is absolutely a thing that dudes do all the f***ing time

like where if he knows a girl doesn’t necessarily want to give him a hug, he will trap her in this position in front of witnesses where she has 2 options- both of which are undesirable for her, while simultaneously desirable for him

if she doesn’t want to hug him, whatever she does, it will suck for her.

she can 1. say nah and be the fucking asshole in front of other ppl or 2. forsake her corporeal boundaries and allow unwanted intimate contact

it’s a f***ing trap

Day Four - Someone I love

It'll probably come as a surprise to... absolutely no-one... that my subject for this post is none other than my girlfriend of nearly a year - Amanda.

As I mentioned - we've been together for nearly a year (11 months as of the 4th of Feb) but strangely it feels like much less, we're still learning things about each other and making each other laugh with our foibles and little in jokes that are growing daily in both complexity and quantity.

Amanda herself is the most amazing girlfriend I could ask for - both physically beautiful and the most wonderful and kind person I have ever met. She's not afraid to be different from most of the other women her age - keeping a level head and logical mind that I've not seen from many adults whilst still able to do the cutest and craziest things without much shifting of mental gear. Her kindness and consideration knows no limit - she truly is a beautiful person inside and out.

Apologies to anyone who may think I waffled somewhat - perhaps that's what love does to a person.

All that's left to say is: I LOVE YOU AMANDA!!

Nik.