Francis Alys - Sometimes Making Something Leads To Nothing (1997)

offkuts all tied up in bows skirt ౨ৎ

a little personal response / tribute to "here's the life i've always longed for" by Anna Haifisch. the original means so much to me, and even though it's hard, I feel like every day i'm making more steps toward finally being on the other side of that fence <:)

I didn’t think you’d fall in love with me.

In the Mood for Love 花樣年華 (2000) dir. Wong Kar Wai

Bones and All (from page to screen) dir. Luca Guadagnino 2022

Daido Moriyama

Sea of Okhotsk

2022

©juri

Hans Poelzig: "The Great Theater" (1919)

i want to learn ceramics, to play the electric guitar, bass, painting, i want to go camping, get into film photography, learn about tea, coffee and wine, all trees and flowers from my country, try out all fruits ever, know how to cook heavenly, have a cosy house and invite people i love and have a wall they can decorate and a handmade outfit from scratch that i’ll keep forever, have a communitary vegetable garden, own a bookshop that’s also a flowershop that’s also a café

Yoshitaka Amano: ‘1001 Nights’ (1998)

i feel like i don't really know what love is

like all the time i searched for it and craved it in every girl that was nice to me or even wasn't but now after i watched this movie i don't think i know what love means. it seems so unconditional and pure and i always thought that i know what love is and what it feels like and that i've been in love with people even if they didn't share the same. i look at my brother and his girlfriend and i see such purity and unconditional love in their eyes. but when i think back i don't know if i ever really felt that for a person. all the "love" i felt for people always had a mildy fear of pain. the fear that they don't love me back and if i act like that now that they won't like me anymore and i lose them. and in fact it mostly ended like that everytime. people get so sick of me and seem to forgot me quickly that i already had forgotten me. i think love will come but i don't know if i'm capable to really feel it or if i'm really getting irritated then. love is such a complex emotion. i always thought i had it but now i don't know if my feelings will ever got over the "you're my crush please notice me" phase. or is this already the love everyone is talking about because it sure doesn't feel like it.

actually i should go to sleep i'm really tired and i propably just think to much into it right now and tomorrow i will wake up and think what have i written yesterday? and the thought will fade away like real love does

or does it?

                                                             3:41 AM