I Thought I Was At My Lowest But Holy Shit It Gets Lower

scene queen sounds sm better at 100+ mph <3

no because this disorder SUCKS ASS. i read a heartbreaking fanfic and now i’m so fucking sad i want to die so i can stop feeling so fuxking SAD

that writer deserves everything they have ever wanted in life, that was the most beautiful piece of literature i’ve read in a while holy fuck

resting peacefully tonight :)

8.7.24 excerpt-

“and a large part of me is dead too, lying there with your ashes in the mahogany box”

missing you michael, i want to reach out to tell you i still cared so deeply for you. but i can’t, you don’t want that. so i won’t. just know that i miss you and that i’m sorry my emotions run so deep.

i wish i wasn’t like this. i’m sorry that i cant stop missing you. i wish you gave me a chance to make things right.

i also miss this girl who i loved with my absolute everything i had in me but i can’t ever write about her, the loss is too much, the gap between us feels too big,, i don’t know where to start with her- i never did. but Gods above that doesn’t mean that i don’t miss her often. i tried reaching out first but idk, don’t have the confidence to try again. i got angry with her recently due to my idiot boyfriend not explaining a situation well, and i always having a worse bark than my bite.

she was more than all the moons and stars in the universe, how could i ever not miss her? my absolute other half, twin flame, soulmate, my person.

The whole, "K*lling urself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem" bullshit is spouted by the ignorant lucky ones who have only had temporary problems. Some people's problems are permanent so maybe try offering actual help and support to them rather than regurgitating an overused phrase that means nothing to people with real struggles.

sad sad girl, smoking to lana all on her lonesome