Latest Posts by sicksadchild - Page 2
i need one of those “fragile, handle with care” stamps they put on breakable packages but like. all over me.
tumblr user bpdbpdbpdbpd in the actuallybpd tags who has bpd as their blog title and "borderline personality disorder" in their description: wow that relatable bpd feel when [12 bpd specific terms]
neurotypicals: um how was i supposed to know it was a bpd thing ???? i thought ???? it was ??????? for neurotypicals ?????????????
how to come back to life after u kill yourself to see how much attention u get
my life is a game of “is this a symptom or does everyone experience this?”
does anyone else feel like they’re “attached” to their mental illness?
like you feel uncomfortable when your symptoms aren’t as strong or frequent because you’re so used to them being there all the time?
like. here’s a shoutout to the abuse victims who weren’t “nice”. who haven’t been submissive and soft and kind to their abusers, who were angry and hurt them - purposefully or not -, who screamed at them, who didn’t treat the person that hurt them so much well. who became toxic for their abusers because they couldn’t or wouldn’t handle it “nicely”. who tried to speak up, who caused arguments, who “provoked” further abuse by being rude and mean and harsh. who were angry and hurt and wanted to pay their abusers back for what they did to them. who realised something was off and refused to just accept it, who seemed like “bad people” without context because the abuse has made them angry and unwilling to be nice anymore. who aren’t “nice” anymore, who are still angry and don’t want to try because they tried and were hurt anyway. you are all valid, and no matter how you reacted you didn’t deserve the abuse. you are not the same as your abuser just because of how you dealt with the situation. it is not and has never been your fault. they hurt you, and they never had the right to.
COMMISSIONS ARE OPEN!!! I’m saving up money so that I can afford my chest removal surgery, so I am now accepting commissions! Prices can be negotiated, especially when adding characters and depending on how intricate the character is you ask me to draw. Message me on tumblr, where we can work out prices and exchange PayPals. I only accept payments upfront! (Also if you could do me a favor and promo this that would be wonderful! Thank you!)
i don’t remember what happened to me
one of the worst things is when your abuser is suddenly very nice to you and you ask yourself whether they are really an abuser and maybe you were just overreacting and you feel mean for even thinking that they abused you (but then they abuse you over and over again and then they're nice again for a few hours, causing you to doubt everything again)
reblog to delete abusers
we’re gonna delete all the abusers
me: *subtlety reveals small bits of trauma shit through vague comments and small details*
The trauma side of tumblr really seems to focus on survivors of csa, and that’s completely understandable, but I don’t see enough posts about kids who had to deal with serious neglect/emotional abuse. It can be devastating as well
shoutout to kids who had to grow up too fast because their parents never allowed them to be a kid
shoutout to kids who had to fend for themselves every day, or even little siblings
shoutout to kids who felt like the parent
shoutout to kids who cling hard to people because they never got the proper love and care that a parent should provide
shoutout to kids who have health issues because they were never taken care of, and it’s hard to recover from
shoutout to kids who felt abandoned and empty and like they had no childhood because their family wasn’t there
You’re all valid and I’m so sorry for what we’ve had to go through. It’s tough. And I hope we can all heal from it
sometimes it doesnt work but im still trying
free space is “if i tell anyone they’ll just pity me”
dissociation sucks
This is for all of you who wonder what emotional abuse is. It is not a definitive list but it gives you an idea. Emotional abuse takes many forms, you can still have gone through it even if most of these don’t fit your experience.
i'm so thankful for the fact that my boyfriend is understanding of the fact that i need more reassurance and affection than most people and that i often get scared that he'll leave me and i'm also proud of myself for handling everything so well because i'm assuring him that none of this is his fault and that i thank him for listening to me and i try to stay as calm as possible when i get anxious and i've improved so much compared to last year
If you have a complicated relationship with your mother because of abuse or neglect, you don’t have to feel guilty regardless of how much or how little you choose to interact with her.
I know there’s a lot of pressure to acknowledge her even if she’s hurt you badly. If you choose to (or wish you could) keep your distance or even end your relationship with her, you’re not a bad child or ungrateful or mean.
If for any reason you do something nice for her, that doesn’t mean you give up your right to be angry or hurt by what she did before that. It doesn’t mean you give up your right to keep your distance or even end your relationship with her later on.
You don’t owe her. But it’s complicated sometimes, I understand. Just do your best to be gentle with yourself, and try to remember that you didn’t deserve what happened. You have always deserved care and respect.
I wasn’t abused for 20 fucking years so I could be told I am lucky or fascinating or complex. My abuse did not enhance my personality. It fucking destroyed me. I am not ‘inspiration porn’ for you to get off on. I am not public property for you to appropriate and plagiarize so you can feel edgy. You want to be abused so badly? Go find someone to abuse you but never, ever try to take the memories and narratives of victims and mimic them. We do not exist to be gawked at. We do not exist to be statistics in your fucking pamphlets. Fuck off.
(takeachillquill) (via takeachillquill)
Let’s play, “was I abused” game! Reblog and bold the things your parents have done to you! Italicize if you’re not sure. (copy paste it all and then bold)
Physical abuse
parent slapped me to prove their point/teach me a lesson
parent spanked me as a “punishment” saying it was for my own good
parent pulled on my hair to force me to move
parent threw things at me while angry, things heavy enough to hurt me
parent trapped me into a room/corner so I couldn’t escape them
parent hit me when I wouldn’t obey them/tried to confront them
parent used a twig/stick/belt to lash at my body
parent grabbed me to force me to pay attention to them
parent pinned me down and physically prevented me from escaping
parent brought me into situations where I feared for my life
parent made it painfully obvious for me that I’ll obey them or suffer injuries
parent threatened to beat me if I wouldn’t do as they say
parent forcefully fed me something I refused to eat
parent made an attempt at strangling/drowning/burning me
parent banged my head/body into the wall/furniture
parent forced me into sexual activities
Emotional abuse
parent called me derogatory names and slurs more than once
parent said my name mostly with hatred and scorn in their voice
parent degraded and humiliated me in front of others for fun
parent insulted and devalued something really important to me
parent deprived me of something that meant the world to me
parent yelled and swore at me in anger more than once
parent blamed me for things that were out of my control/not my fault
parent shamed me for my physical appearance
parent guilt-tripped me for not pleasing them well enough
parent regarded me as a burden, and shamed me for needing them at all
parent insisted I couldn’t take a joke after I got hurt from their insults
parent never comforted me/got angry if I reached for comfort
parent punished me for crying/showing fear/showing trauma symptoms
parent humiliated me for showing excitement and happiness
parent subtly let me know that my feelings and my problems don’t matter
parent got angry at me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent blamed me for feeling depressed/angry/tired/suicidal
parent compared me to cousins/other children to prove how I’m the worst
parent decided for me how I feel when it was convenient for them
parent told me that I was crazy/delusional/need to be locked away
parent threatened me with kicking me out/sending away if I don’t change
parent refused to accept my sexuality/tried to force it to change
parent required for me to act normal to protect family’s reputation
parent isolated me from family activities they all enjoy
parent assured me that nobody will ever want me
parent insisted that I was lucky and that I could have had it much worse
parent made me responsible for their well being and made me the caretaker
parent insisted that their harmful acts were all made “out of love”
parent demanded me to be available for their requests at any time
parent punished me for trying to establish boundaries
parent destroyed my belongings as a revenge
parent made inappropriate sex jokes and comments in my presence
parent denied doing any of this and insists that all the blame is on me
Psychological Abuse
parent kept pointing out my flaws as proofs that I wont achieve anything
parent called me stupid, incompetent, ignorant, while withholding information that I needed to know in order to complete tasks
parent would change their side of the agreement in crucial moment and then pretend it was obvious from the start
parent stalked me/distrusted me without any reason/invaded my privacy
parent attacked my insecurities and vulnerabilities in any argument
parent forced me into degrading actions while they watched me do it
parent threatened to leave me
parent accused me regularly of behaving the way they did
parent never acknowledged, praised or approved of my actions
parent always demanded they are right without any proof/explanation
parent insisted that they’re a great parent using financial support as proof
parent insisted that I should be grateful for how good they are to me
parent gaslighted me and tried to make me believe my memories weren’t real if I confronted them with what they did
Neglect
parent didn’t notice I haven’t been eating properly
parent didn’t notice I was sick/didn’t care for me while I was sick
parent didn’t notice I was injured
parent didn’t notice I didn’t have clothes/shoes I needed for school
parent didn’t notice I suffered from trauma
parent didn’t notice I was anxious and stressed
parent didn’t notice I was depressed
parent didn’t notice I was cutting myself
parent didn’t notice I was suicidal
parent didn’t notice I was being sexually abused
parent didn’t notice I was being bullied
parent failed to get me medical attention when it was needed
parent failed to teach me the very basics of self care
parent didn’t seem to notice any of my needs and feelings except the absolute minimum I required to survive
when I notified them of these things, they denied it, accused me of lying, decided it wasn’t happening and/or blamed me for it
Financial Abuse
parent made me feel ashamed for needing money
parent made me feel like I’m a financial burden to them
parent only gave me minimal money to survive
parent made sure I never have a decent amount of money on me
parent took the money I earned from me
parent used the money to blackmail me (if you continue this way let’s see who will pay for your bus ticket!)
parent insisted since they “pay for my stuff” they have the right to control my behaviour and actions
parent had enough money for luxury but kept me without anything
parent refused to get my medicine/get me medical attention because it’s too expensive while they got everything for themselves
parent would keep me anxious over if they would pay my expenses or not
parent would make me do as much work for them as possible before they would pay for a necessity
parent kept me in the dark over family finances even when I was of age
parent would make sure I never have enough money to escape them
If you bold more than 5 things, you have been through abuse. For some particular ones, even one true thing on this list means you’ve been badly harmed by your parents. Also this list is not complete, there are many more abusive behaviours not listed here, feel free to add!
Stop blaming yourself for other people’s shitty doings to you.
They fucked up, not you.