Big Loud People

Not Good Enough

Hey, that's not good enough

Is anything ever good enough

For you?

Well I'm determined to stay tough

Anything I have with you is brutal

Why must you be brutal?

I'm never good enough

You throw people away if they happen to be the opposite of useful

Everyone has a heart

Do you have a heart?

Yours only beats

Oh where to start...

You said you would still love

Why do you pretend to love?

Pretending isn't what a heart does

I am the bothered, dead, dove

You have broken my innocent wings

Why do you inflict pain on my wings?

Then you cut me off with something hurtful

Let me show you what my misspent time with you brings

Then you bring me down

Why do you like to bring me down

Big bully?

You like to stand behind me when I'm in a hospital gown

Your creep is showing

Why do you let it show?

It's wrong

You'll never know

Hey, you have to be more helpful than that

Than that?

Than what?

Well maybe you've gotten too lazy and fat!

"You can contribute here you know"

Do you think that I don't know?

I am only giving you what you deserve

You always have been my foe

Thank goodness I was here because you wouldn't have answered

How do you know that I wouldn't have answered?

You don't know the future, stop assuming

I will never stop dancing because I am a dancer

Hey you, I never see you anymore

How come you don't see me anymore?

Huh. I couldn't imagine why

I'm glad I have finally closed that door

I'm glad I have finally managed to get your foot out of the door

I need to get some locks for the door

A chair just isn't good enough for me

Because you are a persistent, controlling Leo

You make me feel bad about stuff

Not just any ol' stuff

You make me feel handcuffed to a wall

That you come back to just to demean me

Would you be brave enough to do that?

Holding in your words, never would you think about that

I would do whatever I needed to do if I had to

Because I understand the meaning of the words, ya gotta do what ya gotta do

Grades

Just watching your grades drop down to failure

What specific grade makes you a failure?

At what point are you considered a success?

If a 65 is passing, what’s so bad about a 64?

Are you a failure if you have a 0?

Or are you beating the system of grades;

And beating the government?

The difference between a 100 and a 0

Is just one

One point, that’s all

So let me make a good one

When we meet we shall laugh about those bad grades

And those teachers who said you were going nowhere

And all the classes that laughed at you and took you as a joke

School doesn’t teach you life; life does that

School is just an old factory that produces brainwashed people

You are taught to want to graduate and move onto college

Then get a job, fall in love and have a family

But for you and me

We need something different!

Buried Deep

Die

Survive

Die

Survive

It's already buried deep down there

I hide it behind a secret glare

"Maybe someday we'll talk"

Could you just take a walk?

Fuck off

Step off

I'm fine

What I'm thinking is all mine

Tell? Never

Whatever

I'm fine I tried to portray

Just go away

Why must you ask every time?

The answer is always going to be no, and that I'm fine

The more you bring it up the more I'm going to think

I don't want to think about it, tears no longer on the brink

It's all over and done

It's buried all the way, just leave it, if you get pushier trust me I'll run

Some relationships I don't want to mend

That hand don't lend

It's been too long

What's wrong?

I'll never tell

It's already buried deep in a well

You've said that you've been there

And everywhere

But you don't know

Just go

You wouldn't get it

But it's already buried in a pit

In your office, pure,

Adrenaline, you'll never know what I endure

In there my mask 

Will always last

I'll never tell, clenched teeth

It's already buried beneath

Just give it up

Because I'll never throw it up

Solid living death

Forever hold my breath

You Seem so Real

You seem so real

And this whole relationship is a big deal

And I still can’t decide

Even though you always take my side

It seems like an easy one

But I went for it just for some fun

You're magnetic and draw me in

I can’t help but feel the pull on the sting attached to my tin

My ex was a cartoon

And you hit me with a harpoon

As I tried to do to him

But he didn’t understand he was so dim

He was fake happy, living in a world with no storms

And precipitation comes in many forms

So how’d he get the rainbows?

He hung out with too many hoes

You're talking about kissing on new years

As I thought about with Juan last year before he caused me tears

But I wouldn’t want to with you because you're not near

Oh my lovely dear

You're prince charming

But because Juan was doing the heart harming,

I can’t fall head over,

Heels; Juan is what's left of the stover

Superhero

A superhero is someone who has strength Not super stretchy length

Strength is when someone else can put themselves in back of you In other words they put you first, that’s what they do

Superheroes are ordinary people Not the ones that have a cape and are flying over the church steeple

Superheroes are caring They are never judging you and staring

The medics that show up at a fair Just so everyone is safe, no outside facing underwear

Superheroes have courage but still fear I don’t blame them, they don’t have the head gear

The ones that rather compassion Over fashion

The ones that are brave Everyone they can’t always save

This is reality, some of the innocents are dead Some go unfed

Who are your superheroes? I hope that you answer doesn’t start with a zero

The Reason Why I Fell

The reason why I'm about to fall

Is because I once stood tall

Just as quick and graceful as a fawn

You are gone

‘Twas all but a dream

You secretly made me beam

Even though I shuddered

And muttered

You were so patient like the paper I leak ink on

You are gone

Big sister

Now you're a big blister

That I will never fully comprehend

A message I might send

But I know I will slip away like sand

In your pretty young hands

I felt so safe

But now I feel the chafe

We had fun

What's done is done

‘Twas all but a silly nightmare

‘Twas just a tear,

In the page,

Of a script who’s fate was to drift off stage

And that was the reason why I fell

Into this well

At dark dawn

I am gone...

Was It?

Was it the bread

That got to your head?

Or was it the butter

That made you stutter?

Maybe you think it was the salt

That made it your fault

I know that the berries

Didn't make you marry

But what was your deal

With the oatmeal?

Was the grapefruit too tart?

Maybe it’s why you had to fart

You gave a nickel

For a fried pickle

Maybe the pie

Was the reason that it felt like you were going to die

I mean the honey

Did seem to taste a little funny

Did the steak

Give you a stomach ache?

Was it the chicken soup

That made you have to go poop?

Or was it the icing on the cake

That made your stomach break?

Pages

I don’t know what love is

I just can’t wrap my head around it

Like the size of the universe

Love makes people do crazy things, but it just usually makes me curse

How could you not lose hope and keep lining up shells?

Because of love

I am third wheeling it

And it’s lonely

But not for the lovers, only

They are unconsciously awake

Let’s travel

And get a plane ticket

To a place where our hearts don’t feel heavy with atmosphere

Dear,

Let’s start again

Even if I feel like a spring…

Stressed out

Is how I work

Otherwise

I just sit on my ass instead of taking to the skies

I need to get away to any other place

A new reality where I will not be a sad tragedy

But will have a happily ever after

Filled with much laughter

Because any other place has got to be better  

I currently live in a deep cave of a library, that’s full of empty dreams

I stare at the ceiling as I scream with laryngitis

And I feel the shelves towering over me, all around

I'm a story that someone forgot to put down

And I just want to be put on the shelf

Sometimes it seems like I can see the most clearly when I am blinded by tears

Because that’s when I'm not avoiding my feelings

It’s like I am able to see the lopsided way the world moves

The inner working grooves

That are so complicatingly simple

I wonder not when, but if the pieces will ever fall together

Being the mismatching misfit that I am

I don’t know if I am a puzzle that can be put together; maybe I was made wrong

All along,

A factory mishap

I want you to hold me as close as pages of a book that are bound to the spine

Because maybe

You could force and weld pieces of me together and get readjusted

As I fall apart and become more rusted

Like the tin man  

I have a heart

I just don’t like to let on to that,

It’s actually not stone cold at all

It’s quite the opposite

It’s all mushy and squishy

Questions

I hate this life

This life

Of other people trying

Trying to know everything about me

I don’t just get interrogated once, but twice too many times

I cant handle all these questions, questions, QUESTIONS!

That echo too loudly in my brain

Because I know that they will get analyzed,

In every way possible

Along with

All of my actions

I brought this upon myself

By answer one or two questions

Can you just let me

Make my own decisions and choices

Without having to be a part of it

I'm an adult now and yet

You still treat me like a baby,

That has no knowledge at all

And because of you I can't concentrate

On success

And that’s why you're being so difficult with me

Because you don’t want me to turn out

Like you

But you're making success harder

Than it really needs to be

And your sweet voice

Doesn’t help

It doesn’t make anything better

And you can't persuade me with it

Holiday Swirl

I’m so horrible, bad luck doesn’t want a part of me

The crows fly away with the sight of me,

Inscribed in their retinas

I have my own invisible scarlet letter

“S” is the letter

My name…

Blades of grass spear through my shadow

So long ago that girl of a shadow

My 5 o'clock shadow of words

Maybe my writing phase is over

I can’t wake up from a dream when it’s already over

Maybe my blue pen is done kissing the paper

If you were the paper and I was the pen, you’d think I was trying to murder you

I don’t know me, without you

Sometimes I miss my ink

I’m scared my drugs are going to be discontinued

I’m scared my happiness has been discontinued

I used it all up in attempt to hang onto it

Flowers blossoming beautifully to their death

Everything living to its death

Birds singing the song the reaper himself wrote

Words tattooed to my face,

My award losing poker face

Why can’t you see the sadness in my bright eyes?

My depression is the light

Everyone’s happiness is the light

People keep dragging me there

They think they’re helping

Don’t ask me what is helping

Always asking the awful reverse

They think they know what’s best

No one knows best

No not even me

If only they would listen-

And yet, too intently is not how to listen

They never do