Captain Marvel Gets Kidnapped And Put Under A Magical Truth Spell Except It’s The Marvel & Billy Are

Do you think Captain Marvel (Shazam) can inflict harm on himself?

Like if he’s in a situation where someone is forcing him to say the magic word (with the lasso of truth or something) and Captain Marvel knows if he transforms back to Billy he’ll die, couldn’t he just rip his own vocal cords out?

Like, obviously if he did they’ll heal (cause he’s magic) and he’d be able to speak again eventually, but ripping out your own vocal cords would be a pretty badass way to counter a villain, huh?

Good shock value for the horror everyone else would have at this person tearing out their own throat just so he wouldn’t say a word

VOTE BILLY!!! HE HAS PRETENDED TO BE HIS OWN UNCLE IN ORDER TO DO STUFF AND THAT CHILD WAS HOMELESS SO NO WAY IS HE PAYING ANY SORT OF TAXES

Billy, talking to a war criminal like Mr Mind: “Hey! Can you please stop that?”

Billy, talking to his siblings after they mildly annoyed him: “do that again and I’ll fucking end you and your bloodline”

Let him have that Cain instinct

fun fact about me, one time in 2019 me and two friends went to gdańsk, got drunk in the apartment, and made a whole fake documentary about a gay vampire and it’s the silliest thing ever. we still quote it regularly. it ends with the camera man getting eaten and the vampire realizing he’s been staying inside and avoiding sunlight for 500 years for no reason because he didn’t know that he’s actually a daylight vampire (???) and then he goes to italy on vacation. I played his unpaid assistant who helped him pick out outfits

Reblog for greater sample size.

batman would hate me because I’d insist on pockets with my costume and he’d argue a utility belt is technically multiple pockets and I wouldn’t take that

I feel like when things are quiet in Gotham and the only threat is normal criminals, Cass would have no issue blasting music on patrol just for fun. No one knows what to make of it, Bruce isn't sure if it's an effective crime fighting tactic or not but it sure is Something.

You are random Gotham mugger 745 trying to steal from a woman on her way home from work and you suddenly hear Chappell Roan's Good Luck Babe growing ominously louder until you're suddenly knocked out too fast to recognise who it is. You end up at the police station with five other guys who've experienced something similar. One says they heard Mitski's My Love Mine All Mine playing. Another heard wish you were gay by Billie Eilish. Is there a lesbian ghost haunting Gotham? What the hell is going on?

Elsewhere on a completely unrelated note Barbara is having a long discussion with Cass on first loves and realising you're gay. Chappell Roan and girl in red will be haunting Gotham criminals for a solid month before she finally works up the courage to actually Talk to Steph about how she's feeling, at which point the lesbian ghost who knocks criminals unconscious will have developed into a Gotham meme and become an urban legend. Believers will say it's a new god here to protect sapphic women. Skeptics will tell you it's probably just Poison Ivy.

We know that Facebook is brainscorching your parents and tiktok is brainscorching your cousins, but some of you refuse to admit that you got your brain scorched here. However unlike those sites there isn't an algorithm here you just make bad choices.