zejloo - 🌬
🌬

22, she/her

181 posts

Latest Posts by zejloo - Page 4

1 year ago

Quote game: open

Hiii , So to enter the game you need to:

reblog

Send an ASK (ONLY)

in the ask I need your initials and your sign Whoever enters this game will be entitled to a quote and a message through Tarot

1 year ago

The use of white phosphorous in Palestine is so calculated and insidious because not only does it cause horrific, usually fatal burns but its residue in the envionrment can cause illness, birth defects, and cancers for generations afterward. Look at the Twitter account Fallujah Birth Defects (graphic) which documents defects and abnormalities so rare most medical journals don't have them. White phosphorous was dropped in Fallujah in 2004 and it's still killing Iraqi babies. What do you think it's going to do to the survivors of the Palestinian genocide.

1 year ago

How to Have Better Conversations

I’m writing this at the request of my partner. She shared she’s really been struggling with making conversation more than usual lately. I shared some thoughts on how I navigate conversations she found useful and asked if I’d be willing to make a resource or write more about it. This is not meant to be a definitive expert guide, it’s built from my observations and experiences as someone who is autistic and has to navigate a lot of social situations completely manually. This is how I break down the individual components of conversation.

When I spelled this all out, one of her takeaways was that conversations actually involve a lot of microdecisions and that’s why they can be so tiring. And I think that’s totally correct. But I think it’s also why some people can thrive with them because it’s actually a lot of difficult decisions that are tricky to pull off well so when you can and do, there’s a real sense of accomplishment that can make talking more appealing.

I have a feeling this post will be overcomplicated and convoluted to a lot of folks but maybe there’s a handful of folks for whom it is helpful. Take what works, leave the rest. Summary at the end.

Types of Conversation

Topics of conversation are decently important in my experience. They ultimately let you know where the conversation will go - whether it’s likely to end in a dead end, what sorts of things it will allow you to learn about the person you’re discussing with. In my experience, just about all conversation topics fall into one of four camps.

While I talk about Best Use and Don’t Use here - most conversation in the following topics will fall somewhere in-between. They’re just sign posts, not rules.

Me

The focus is on you. Me topics are ultimately about telling a story about yourself with some amount of conscious intent.

Best Use

The best use of this is setting expectations and conveying preferences. This allows your talking about yourself to serve a purpose that ultimately assists the other person in knowing how to understand and interact with you best without necessarily demanding certain treatment front. They might change or not change how they interact with you and this can show how responsive you might expect them to be.

Examples:

“I’m a writer so I don’t work 9-5. If I reply at odd times, that’s probably what’s going on.”

“One of my favorite ways to get to know someone is to grab a hot drink and go for a walk with them.”

Don’t Use

The worst use of this is look a certain way - knowledgeable, impressive, interesting. Basically any use rooted in getting another person to like you. Genuine connection doesn’t start from a place of elevating one person over another. Plus honestly 90% of people just do not care about why you think you’re interesting, important, etc and hate feeling pressured to validate you.

Examples:

“My boss was even stumped by the issue but I figured it out on my own.”

“All my friends say I’m the best at baking.”

“I keep a bunch of tools in my car, I’m ready to fix anything anywhere.”

You

The focus is on the other person. You topics are ultimately about letting the other person share the story of themselves.

Best Use

The best use of You topics is to better understand how a person understands themselves. Open ended questions that invite them to show their thinking as well and shows you how they reason. The common acronym FORD (family, occupation/occupy time, recreation, dreams) is a decent

Example:

“So how did you find yourself in this city? What was that journey like?”

“Why did you take up [your hobby]? What drew you to it?”

Don’t Use

Don’t use you topics to actively try to find fault with someone else. It’s great to have standards and hard no’s for your friendships and relationships. But poking around for them upfront can alienate people who you’d otherwise like - suspicion is not a desirable quality in a friend or potential partner. Ultimately you have to let a person show you who they are and make a personal call. There’s no short cut.

Example:

“So why did you and your ex break up?”

“So you get angry easily then?”

Both

The focus is on a shared expertise/language, not on the story of either of you.

Best Use

The best use of both topics is to notice things about them they wouldn’t think to explicitly share necessarily and to connect in a way that only people with your shared interest or expertise allows.

Example:

My partner and I both have a background in academic medical research. However when we talk about it, it becomes apparent that my focus is on the practical and researcher side and hers is on the data and compliance side. It’s interesting to note where our similar interests compliment and diverge.

Don’t Use

Don’t use both topics to try one up or show you know more than the other person. The minute you do that the shared aspect - and therefore connection - is gone.

Example:

I once went on a date with a man who spent a half hour explaining how GIS systems work in a very “look at me” way after I mentioned I had used them when I was studying forestry in college. It was boring as hell.

Neither

The focus is on a topic without a shared expertise/language, not on the story of either of you.

Best Use

The best use of neither topics is a shared exploration/experience. One person will usually know a little more about a topic than the other person. The person who knows less benefits by learning about a topic they’re curious about. Their questions and observations invite the other to think about this topic in a new light so the experience winds up being somewhat shared.

Examples:

A woman in line at Lowes let me know I could overwinter mums in this area. I proceeded to ask her about how she’d taken such good care of hers and whether the effortwas worth it. She thoughtfully answered my questions and I learned a lot.

I mentioned to my partner a personal project I’m considering undertaking. She asks about my motivations for it and in doing so I have to further clarify them. She learned a little about what my project was about and I learned what I was really after, seeing it fresh.

Don’t Use

Don’t use neither topics to soapbox about things that are of solely personal interest. If someone makes it clear they’re not interested pivot to something more interesting. Even neither topics require at least a little bit of common ground.

Examples:

I regularly talk about group hypocrisies I’m trying to make sense of before realizing that people outside of that group don’t really care.

Ideal Ratio

In general, in reflecting on my own conversations, I think a ratio where more than half the conversation is on either both or neither topics are the most rewarding. It’s where neither party walks away feeling like they talked too much about themselves and when meaningful and interesting topics still have been discussed.

I think it’s a common mistake to try to get the conversation to be 50% you, 50% me. That’s where conversations feel like a job interview and get exhausting real quick. They also have an appearance of depth as people disclose more to keep the conversation going but with out a feeling of connection after because little time is spent on exploration and shared experience.

How to Respond

So knowing what topic you’re currently or want to talk about is one part of this, but the other is choosing a response. I generally let the other person’s response dictate some measure of my response.

Pivot

If someone seems negatively engaged - leaning back, looking around a lot, arms crossed, giving short answers - I pivot to a neutral topic. I find neutral topics work best because the focus is not on either of you - they don’t feel like they’re under pressure to disclose or act interested in you. Neutral topics also allow them to lead the pace - asking questions and making observations at the level they feel comfortable. If they continually seem negatively engaged, it’s usually best to bail from the conversation, especially if asking questions about the dynamic itself seems like it might not be welcome.

Matching

If someone seems neutrally engaged - mostly looking in your direction, not leaning toward or away, giving input on what you’re saying - I match and continue with the topic.

FOOL

Being a little like the Fool in the Major Arcana is actually a great way to be a good conversationalist - genuine, curious, brave, and receptive. Bellow are some concrete ways how.

Follow up questions - Good follow up questions come from a genuine place of curiousity. They also tend to either fill in gaps in your own understanding or encourage the speaker expand the discussion into a new but related area.

Observation - Observations on the topic itself are great but not your only option. You can oberve how a person seemed to feel when talking about the topic. You can observe that they’d touched on a related topic before. Comparison is a fruitful ground for observations as well - “That’s similar to
” and ”That’s very different than
.”

Opinion - Offering an opinion or requesting their opinion is a good way to keep a conversation going. In general, it’s best to avoid generalizations, soften them a little to start with, and make sure there is some measure of compassion in the opinion you’re sharing. Rigidity leaves little room for discussion and exploration.

Levity - Where appropriate, make a joke, share a meme, craft a pun, tease them a little. Laughter is a shared experience that connects us.

Building

If someone seems positively engaged - leaning forward, making eye contact, coming closer to you for neurotypical people and actively engaging with the content of what you’re saying regardless of stims or eye contact for neurodivergent folks - I build on what we’re talking about. I self disclose my feelings and personal connections to the topic one step further than what the person I’m talking with has.

It’s important not to disclose a lot more than the person you’re talking with has. It leads to a vulnerability hangover for you and can be quite awkward and uncomfortable for them. If you disclose just a little more than the person you’re chatting with, then it’s much more easy to recover and match their level if they seem uncomfortable with what you shared.

Decision Tree

“What topic are we talking about currently?”

Me - Set expectations, share preferences; you focused

You - Understand you as you understand yourself; other person focused

Both - Connect over a shared language; idea focused

Neither - Connect over a shared exploration; idea focused

“What cues am I getting from the other person?”

If positive, build on current topic - be vulnerable

If neutral, match on current topic - be a FOOL*

If negative, pivot to a different topic - preferably neutral or in ratio**

*FOOL

Follow up questions - genuine curiousity - “I wonder
”

Observe - conversation, feelings, topic - “I noticed
”

Opinion - cautious, concise, compassionate - “I’ve often thought
”

Levity - make jokes, share memes - laughter connects

**Ratio

51% Both/Neither

<49% Me/You

1 year ago

so are the people who make good pick a pile gone

So Are The People Who Make Good Pick A Pile Gone
1 year ago
MARIE ANTOINETTE (2006) Dir. Sofia Coppola
MARIE ANTOINETTE (2006) Dir. Sofia Coppola

MARIE ANTOINETTE (2006) dir. Sofia Coppola

1 year ago

WHAT, LIKE IT'S HARD?

WHAT, LIKE IT'S HARD?
WHAT, LIKE IT'S HARD?
WHAT, LIKE IT'S HARD?
WHAT, LIKE IT'S HARD?
WHAT, LIKE IT'S HARD?
WHAT, LIKE IT'S HARD?

how i will be going this school year

WHAT, LIKE IT'S HARD?
WHAT, LIKE IT'S HARD?
WHAT, LIKE IT'S HARD?
1 year ago

| A small tarot event |

| A Small Tarot Event |
| A Small Tarot Event |

Hello lovelies! I am hosting this tarot event because I wanted to give back to you guys. This event will be really short because every time I host one, my ask box gets flooded with questions and that is really overwhelming and energy consuming. I will only be answering first 30 asks.

Rules :

Must be a follower

No anons allowed

Reblog my masterlist and paid services

Mention something that reminds you of me/your assumption about me.

You can ask any question. One question per person.

Be polite and patient.

And lastly enjoy!

| A Small Tarot Event |
1 year ago
Hello!

Hello!

I'm Avi! My hobbies are painting, singing, writing and cooking. My favorite decks are : Tarot of the divine , The wild unknown tarot and Rider waite tarot . If you like my work please leave a review in my ask box!

Thank you for visiting my blog. I hope you have a grand time looking through my treasure box!

Sending lots of love your way! ♡

Difference between karmic and soulmate relationships

Importance of self-love

Hello!

Pick a cards ☆

Self concept ♄

Tarot series

1) why are you so special đŸ˜»

2) admirable things about you

3) what are you attracting right now

4) why are you the most attractive person in the universe

5) let me hype you up!!

6) what effect do you have on others

7) what do people talk about you behind your back

8) watch me have my glow up in 2023

9) how do men view you?

10) 10 Random things about you or for you?

11) what surprises others about you?

12) the compliments you have been receiving behind your back

13) how do your classmates and teachers view you.

14) why do people fall for you?

15) letter from your shadow side

16) your demons and how you can fight them

17) How your existence makes this world a better place.

18) An appreciation letter for you

19) what is it like to be loved by you?

20) what sets you apart from the crowd?

21) how would you be described as an inspiration?

22) how are you glowing up?

23) what kind of lovers do you attract/are attracting

Spirit guides/ Ancestors đŸ•Šïž

1) How do your spirit guides see you?

Guidance / messages đŸ«‚

1) messages from the fairies đŸ§šâ€â™€ïž

2)short pac ( random messages)

3)short pac2 ( random messages)

4) what new things are coming?

5) random message for you ✹

6) letter from the MOON GODDESS đŸŒ™â™„đŸ”ź

7) some things you need to know

8) Random things about your 2023

9) Advice and messages from a friend

10) what's coming for you soon?

11) blessings coming to you in the next 30 days

12) Intuitively channelled messages for you

13) messages from Aphrodite

Fun readings đŸ«§

1) some songs for you ♡

2) you are a 10 but....

3) which spy × family character are you?

4) describing you in some books quotes

5) how would a writer describe your character in a book?

6) what mythical creature are you? Pt 1

Love readings âŁïž

1)what do they love about you

2) what's next in love for you

3) how would they describe you in song

4) letter from your future spouse

5) what will your future spouse love about you

6) The destined one for you

7) who is coming into your life in 2023 💞

8) I was enchanted to meet you (fs reading)

9) Love you like a love song baby

10) First date with your future lover.

11) what first impression will your future lover have of you?

12) Random things about your future lover

13) you from the eyes of your future lover / future spouse.

14) random things about your next lover

15) who's crushing on you?

16) what will you find adorable about your future spouse?

17) how will your future spouse act in front of you vs in front of others?

18) what will draw your future spouse to you?

19) Red string of fate : your destined love

20) what will your future spouse find attractive about you?

21) your next relationship

22) you from the eyes of your future lover/future spouse pt2

23) Random messages from your future spouse

24) Letter from your soulmate

25) what kind of lovers do you attract/are attracting

26) your future spouse : personality

27) First date with your future spouse

28) Some random things your future spouse will say to you (poetic edition)

Hello!

Paid reading services

Payment will be taken through PayPal and this will be taken before I send your reading . I'll deliver your reading on email or Tumblr dm your choice.

All of the feedback

Hello!

Astrology

Astro notes

Astro notes pt 2

Astro notes pt 3

Astro notes pt 4

Stereotype vs reality and your sign

Why does moon in the 6th house give the native a lot of enemies?

How signs would act in classroom

WHO ARE YOU? using sun, moon and rising

Hello!

Planets and you

Your rising and how you look

Mercury and your voice

Venus and your attractive features

Saturn and your fears

Mars and your anger

North node and what you're here for

Moon and what makes you happy

Hello!

Planets in house

Sun in houses

Moon in houses

Mercury in houses

Venus in houses

Mars in houses

Jupiter in houses

Saturn in houses

Uranus in houses

Neptune in houses

Pluto in houses

Hello!

Tarot series :

Let me hype you up series ❁

Information about this series

Part one of this series

Part two of this series

Part there of this series

Hello!
1 year ago
đŸ„čđŸ€

đŸ„čđŸ€

1 year ago

1k followers intuitive ask game

1k Followers Intuitive Ask Game
1k Followers Intuitive Ask Game
1k Followers Intuitive Ask Game

to celebrate reaching 1k followers on this blog, I'm offering a special intuitive game reading/ask for a limited time. Please follow the guidelines closely!

You'll have to options for the ask game:

which country/city is your fs/fp from?

which mythological creature do you give vibes of?

rules to participate:

must be following me

must reblog this post

only asks, no private messages

no anons allowed, but ask can be replied privately if you desire

specify which one of the questions you want to participate in (i'll only allow one of the two per person so choose wisely)

send me your initials/name; signs and emojis are optional but can help

be patient

1 year ago

so real

King The Land í‚č더랜드 (2023) Dir. By Im Hyun Wook – Ep. 8
King The Land í‚č더랜드 (2023) Dir. By Im Hyun Wook – Ep. 8
King The Land í‚č더랜드 (2023) Dir. By Im Hyun Wook – Ep. 8
King The Land í‚č더랜드 (2023) Dir. By Im Hyun Wook – Ep. 8
King The Land í‚č더랜드 (2023) Dir. By Im Hyun Wook – Ep. 8
King The Land í‚č더랜드 (2023) Dir. By Im Hyun Wook – Ep. 8
King The Land í‚č더랜드 (2023) Dir. By Im Hyun Wook – Ep. 8
King The Land í‚č더랜드 (2023) Dir. By Im Hyun Wook – Ep. 8
King The Land í‚č더랜드 (2023) Dir. By Im Hyun Wook – Ep. 8
King The Land í‚č더랜드 (2023) Dir. By Im Hyun Wook – Ep. 8
King The Land í‚č더랜드 (2023) Dir. By Im Hyun Wook – Ep. 8

King the Land í‚č더랜드 (2023) Dir. by Im Hyun Wook – Ep. 8

King The Land í‚č더랜드 (2023) Dir. By Im Hyun Wook – Ep. 8
2 years ago

Dear everyone's. I'm sorry for my absence and for the inconveniences of this post but I would to ask some donation, you can donate how much money you want and to let you know I will use it for hospital expenses. And sorry if I can't do reading as a return for your donation since I was on the hospital right now but I will when we've already out and when things are already fine. We've run out here days ago. Any penny is well appreciated. I will heartedly thankful with all of your help, this will serve a big help for my situation.

You can sent your donation here

I am sorry again.

$5/60

2 years ago
For All My Beloved Mutuals Who Might Need It

For all my beloved mutuals who might need it

2 years ago

We need everyone's help right now to protect the rainforest and Indigenous People

The Amazon Rainforest is under a massive threat. I know you've heard this a million times, but this is different. There is a piece of legislation that will decimate the rights of Indigenous people of Brazil, who have been protecting the rainforest. It's unfathomably bad. It has majority support. And they're voting tomorrow. As reported here, the Bill allows "the Brazilian government to find energy resources, set up military bases, develop strategic roads, and implement commercial agriculture on protected Indigenous tribal lands, without any prior discussion with the affected peoples."

The thing you can do—and I know this sounds overly simple—is sign this petition—and tell your friends to do the same: SIGN HERE.

As reported here, the Bill allows "the Brazilian government to find energy resources, set up military bases, develop strategic roads, and implement commercial agriculture on protected Indigenous tribal lands, without any prior discussion with the affected peoples."

Again, this bill has majority support. You may be wondering, why will a petition signed by people who don't live in Brazil make any difference? Because it will give those opposing it political air cover. It will show the world is with them.

But we need a LOT of signatures.

Please do this simple act and spread the word.

2 years ago

I need help.

Me and my sister got expelled from school and now I would need to file for a different Institute. The application will require a lot of money which I don't have currently but I would need to apply as soon as possible because of limited seats.

So what happened was, my sister was facing inequality and racism in her class. And the teachers were treating her poorly. To the point that she was considering self harm. My father and I went to the office to file a report against that teacher but the office staff, teachers present in the office and even the principal teamed up against us. My father was already furious because of the ill-treatment my sister was facing and now seeing their attitude towards us, my father raised his voice. The principal straight off said "I won't teach your children, you may take your kids home" In a rude way. And that's how we ended up like this.

I'm really upset right now because I just bought books and paid the monthly fee a week before this incident. I had already used up my savings and I'm in dire need of money. I don't know why my life is falling apart this time. Please help us 🙏 please . I will offer tarot , chart readings and I also make subliminals.

I would appreciate even a dollar of help. I wasn't considering this but I have no other choice right now.

70/600

2 years ago

why are so many people in the astrology community so obsessed with the idea of other women hating them or being jealous of them đŸ€š it’s giving internalised misogyny fr

2 years ago
Buztedbratz On Ig
Buztedbratz On Ig
Buztedbratz On Ig
Buztedbratz On Ig
Buztedbratz On Ig
Buztedbratz On Ig
Buztedbratz On Ig
Buztedbratz On Ig
Buztedbratz On Ig
Buztedbratz On Ig

buztedbratz on ig

2 years ago
2 years ago

With vanilla extract being a meme, I wanted to share some black history of Edmond Albius a black slave who revolutionized vanilla pollination.

He used a technique he learned of pollinating melons to polinate the orchids to create the vanilla beans. Vanilla was rare and a luxury mainly due to only being able to be pollinated by its natural pollinator in Mexico.

unfortanely, he didnt receive any money for his discovery despite being called the main man who revolutionized pollination, he died in poverty...

With Vanilla Extract Being A Meme, I Wanted To Share Some Black History Of Edmond Albius A Black Slave
With Vanilla Extract Being A Meme, I Wanted To Share Some Black History Of Edmond Albius A Black Slave
With Vanilla Extract Being A Meme, I Wanted To Share Some Black History Of Edmond Albius A Black Slave

everyone say thank you Edmond

2 years ago
zejloo - 🌬
zejloo - 🌬
2 years ago
zejloo - 🌬
2 years ago
Paypal.me/buncanny

paypal.me/buncanny

venmo.me/@buncanny

cash.app/buncanny

pls reblog

2 years ago

i like the concept of soulmates—not a “you’re destined to meet me, and love me” kind of soulmate, but a “i’d pick you, every time.” kind of soulmate. a “no matter what happens, and what has happened, i want to go through it with you.” kind of soulmate. a “i love you by choice, and you’re a blessing, and i’m going to continue thinking about you this way not because i have to but because i want to.” kind of soulmate. a “you help me rest easy when everything is difficult” kind of soulmate. a “in every possible outcome, i want you there, to share it with me.” kind of soulmate.

2 years ago

i’m sorry but no matter how serious i get in a relationship, i am NOT telling them about my tumblr. whatever happens on this app STAYS on this app


2 years ago

I really need help right now with just about everything. There’s no food at my house, my tap water is unsafe because of a sewage problem, I have no gas money, I have $4.76 to my name right now, my entire check of a whole $300 is going entirely to rent next week, my uncle tried to go to work and had to quit after two days because he just had surgery so now he needs ANOTHER surgery, my car is about to blow up without an oil change, my light bill is two months behind, so are my tags and if I get pulled over I’m completely fucked, my job is literally about to fucking kill me I’m cooking ALONE in a kitchen all by myself and expected to do it on my own even on a Saturday and then when I CAN’T (surprise, surprise) I’m given off hand comments about how worthless I am and belittled as if I’m 6 years old and borderline verbally abused because I couldn’t sweep and mop by myself after a twelve hour shift. The owner literally told me I couldn’t SQUINT in his kitchen the other day. I can’t hardly do this anymore and it took me forever to find this pos job in the first place. I’m looking for another one and will probably have to go back to a factory job where I was sexually harassed just to pay my bills, but right now I urgently need some assistance before my lights get cut off or I blow my brains out one. I put up a tarot card reading post for money so I could try and give people something for once in exchange for the money but it’s dead and no one is interested so! Here I am.

P*ypal

V*nmo

2 years ago

An incomplete guide to how to talk to young children (3-5 years old):

- Do not assume they understand your instructions the first time. They will ask you the same question three times. Answer it the same way, patiently. They will get it eventually.

- Children will ask strings of “why” questions. They’re not trying to be annoying; they don’t have a lot of the context older people have. Answer until you can’t, then admit you don’t know and ask them a question back. They’ll get distracted for the moment, and trust that you take their questions seriously.

- If you need a kid to do something, give a reason, but don’t give up at “I don’t want to”. If they don’t listen, it’s okay to say “I explained why, and I still need you to do it.” Be calm, and firm. Usually, kids will listen the second or third time.

- If a kid doesn’t listen to an instruction repeatedly, there’s probably something in the way. Ask them why they’re not *without accusing them*, and they’ll tell you what’s going on most of the time. Common reasons: I’m scared, I don’t know how, I miss my parent/sibling, I’m tired, I’m angry/frustrated/sad, I need help. Address the roadblock and help find a compromise that works for the both of you.

- Threats are only as good as you can enforce them. If you threaten them with a countdown, you need a consequence to back it up that is appropriate to the request. For example: “I need you to stay in your chair. I’m going to count to five. If I get to five, and you’re not sitting in your seat with your feet on the floor, I am writing down that you were not listening during snack time on your behavior report.” Keep in mind that these threats only work if the consequence is at the right level; too harsh, and they’ll get overwhelmed and shut down, but too light, and they won’t see it as a consequence. A kid who doesn’t care what their behavior report says won’t worry about a bad report as a consequence.

- Never scream at a child. Never hit them. Never continuously escalate consequences until they do what you say. These behaviors cause a child to panic, and their fear response will prevent them from doing what you want them to, as well as make them more distrusting of you in the future. It’s not just cruel, it is actively counterintuitive to correcting their behavior.

- Make a point to notice and compliment/reward good behavior, especially with kids you are biased to view as “rude” or “badly behaved”. Kids take the views of adults seriously, and if they feel as though they can’t redeem themselves in your eyes, they won’t waste energy trying. Complimenting good behavior when you see it will encourage them to repeat good behaviors to earn your praise. In addition, if there’s other children nearby, they will also mimic the complimented behavior to earn the same praise. Give it.

- Kids want to feel heard. If they want to show or tell you “something cool”, and you have a few moments, watch/listen and compliment them *regardless of if you get it or not*. If you don’t have time, say “That sounds really cool! Can you tell me after we do [insert thing]?” This tells them that you care while still making sure they do what they need to.

- Kids can be downright frustrating sometimes, especially when they need to do something and they just *won’t*. Recognize when you’re getting angry, and learn to stop talking before you direct that anger at them. Take some deep breaths, remind yourself that this too shall pass, and try a different approach.

- Always understand why you’re asking a child to do something. Not only does this help you tell them why they need to, it helps you find replacement behaviors if they can’t/won’t do it. For example: “I need you to lay down and try to sleep, because your friends are sleeping and what you’re doing right now is waking them up. If you can’t sleep after trying for a while, we can work together to find you a quiet activity that you can do at your cot.”

- Don’t expect from a child what you wouldn’t expect from yourself. Could you stand laying still and staring at the ceiling for an hour when you’re not tired? No? Don’t ask a kid to do it. Could you stand staying out in the cold for an hour without a jacket? No? Don’t ask a kid to do it. Could you stand someone yelling at you without feeling angry? No? Don’t ask a kid to do it. Even if you think you could do it, consider if you could do it with the same limitations this child has. Could you do it without the emotional regulation and impulse control you’ve developed as an adult? Could you do it without the inference skills you’ve learned after years of social interactions? Could you do it when you felt angry, tired, overwhelmed, hungry, thirsty, desperately needing to pee with no bathroom nearby? If not, don’t ask a child to do it.

- Don’t react to potty words, insults, or offensive language. Don’t laugh, and don’t act upset. Use the same tone you would if someone said something innocuous, and correct them in that tone. “We don’t say that; that’s a hurtful thing to say to someone.” Or “That’s not funny. Let’s talk about something else.”

- Kids don’t (and should not) have a sense of sexual innuendo or puberty. A four year old doesn’t understand that reaching up to hug you and touching your breasts in the process is gross. A five year old doesn’t understand that “why aren’t you a mommy?” or “why does your face have red dots on it” are weird questions to ask random people. Enforce boundaries without delving into details. “Don’t touch me there; that makes me uncomfortable” and “That’s just how it works sometimes” can be used to great effect. Importantly, don’t act angry or use a tone that indicates they did something wrong; this will seem to them like you’re arbitrarily angry.

- Kids at this age don’t have a strong sense of cognitive empathy or predicting the future. The idea that actions have consequences beyond the immediate result is a very, very new concept to them. Be prepared to explain the obvious of “why can’t I bite her when she makes me mad?”, “why can’t I steal his toy when he stole mine?”, and “why do I have to do what you tell me when I don’t want to?”

- Give explicit instructions. “Stop that” isn’t likely to be understood by a four year old. “Stop throwing the toys; please put them in the bucket gently” is far easier for a kid to follow.

3 years ago

Home Wash

To clean you home during  and after an illness to help with healing. 

One of the things I do after there has been some kind of illness or cold in my family/home is clean my home. Open the windows, let the sun in. Burn some sage and rosemary. Burn some lemon verbena. Wash the sheets and then hang them out in the sun. Most of all I wash my walls and floors. Like any modern witch I do use your standard cleaning liquids, but I also like to mix up a little something more to put in my wash water.

Home Wash

You will need some rain water if you have it and some clear and rose quartz. (Rose quartz will fill the home with a warm positive energy. I use clear quartz as a purifier.) I start the stone water at the beginning of my cleaning so that the stone water can sit out in the sun for a few hours to charge.

After a few hours

I take out the stones and mix in my herbs.

 Peppermint to cool things down and promote healing. Also Mint can be used as a purifier.

Rosemary is also a purifier and  promote healing, but is can also be used for protection from new illnesses.

Lemon Verbena cleans the energies of an area very well and I have found the it can add to the power of spell very nicely. (I once had a friend say that I will put this herb in just about anything
it kind of true. I love this stuff and even started growing it myself :3

I let it sit in the sun for a few more hours

Once done it’s a lot like a sun tea. I strain it out and now mix it with my wash. (If you are not a fan of chemical cleaners. Mix the herbs in vinegar in one jar, and make the stone water in another. Mix the tow jars when they are ready. Wash)

One way I charge my mix is every time I pass it as I clean, I give it three taps with my fingers. Pushing in my intent of washing away what made us sick and protecting us from new illnesses. 

3 years ago
Found Family ♡
Found Family ♡

found family ♡

3 years ago
You Guys Are The Real Heroes

you guys are the real heroes

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