Astro Notes - Blog Posts

11th house thoughts

Hi everybody.

I have an 11th house stellium, and I love it. Probably because my venus is in there, der planet of luv, as well as mars, lust et aggression, and mercury, th’ intellect. 

My sun missed it shy of 1° ; had i been born just a few minutes earlier, I would have been an 11th house sun. But I’m a twelfer. Why, might you ask? My mother has an 11th house stellium afterall, so did my ex-boyfriend. Well, if you ask, my father is a twelfth house sun. 

And I’m learning to live with that. 

Just kidding. Anyways, I love my 11th house stellium. If you’re unfamiliar, the eleventh house is ruled by aquarius. Each of the twelve houses in astrology corelate to each of the twelve signs of the zodiac. The planet which governs both this house and sign is the planet of Uranus, which is my favorite one in our solar system :) I did a random generator a guy posted on reddit to find out which planet is dominant in your chart, and when I plugged everything in, I got Uranus. I was actually quite surprised by this, but overjoyed. I love everything uranus represents. Eccentricity, humanitarianism, chaos.

I am a cancer sun, though, and virgo moon. Cancer rules the moon, so wouldn’t that be my dominant planet? Or is it just my chart ruler? I don’t know. But the moon is so fleeting. Kind of chaotic, actually. Since the moon passes each sign every few days, that’s what makes us cancers so moody. We feel the energy of all the signs within a months time. Can you imagine how that feels? constantly knowing what other people are feeling and thinking? Or maybe I’m just imagining it. I am crazy, after all :p

I digress. The 11th house is fabulous. It rules the finer things in life. My ex-boyfriend was a dandy man, took me to fancy restaurants and hotels, the works. I need that sort of thing, I admire and crave it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m very in tune with income inequality and the social issues that plague the world. But I still love dressing up in fancy clothes for a decadent night out. I suppose this is attributed to my stellium, but I’ll take it. A stellium by the way is when you have three or more planets in one house.

It’s kind of odd that my mom has an eleventh house stellium because we grew up quite poor. Nothing about her really screams fancy besides the fact that she adores drinking wine, is beautiful, and we live fancier only if you put us in to comparison with poorer people around us. We did grow up wearing nice clothes though. My mom would buy us second hand designer brand clothes like tommy hilfiger. Maybe that’s not designer, maybe that’s just brand name. I’m from Kentucky, give me a break. But we Kentucky fancy, baby.

Uranus being my dominant and favorite planet, is in my 7th house, the house of libra and relationships. Perhaps someone could pull up my chart {in the tags] and enlighten me on why it might be my dominant planet. I might also add that my draconic moon is in aquarius, which is supposely what your ‘soul’ truly is. I don’t quite believe that, because I think the soul is larger and smaller than the twelve signs of our universe. Or maybe just our solar system. At least of our conscience understanding of things at this time. Astrology is just a bunch of symbols made of our world to organize and communicate ieas n information. It’s not much more than that.

I recall being very internet savvy in middle and high school. My north node and chiron are in my third house, house of gemini and communication. All of my 11th house stellium planets are also in gemini. I see this being accurate because I am rather small in frame, standing at 5 foot 9 and weighing 125 pounds since I was thirteen years old. My mouth gets me in trouble, whether it’s from accidentally offending or just not being able to shut up! I would constantly be editing my myspace profile, using html codes, messing with the layout and how it interacted with my profile picture and song, and anything else I added to it. I loved it, and then that transitioned to my tumblr blog which I did in high school. Hopefully tumblr doesn’t die out, it’s definitely not what it used to be. Later when stumbleupon was something, I would look up things about futurism, humanism, design. I loved reading about the future. It made me so freaking excited. Like what will life be like in 2040? So cool! Or 2600? Then it made me sad once I accounted my age into the picture. I don’t wanna be 40! and that’s so far away! I hate waiting. 

I’ll end this post on something interesting I noticed. My boyfriend of a year had an eleventh house stellium. After we broke up, I had two guys I was interested in. I was actually quite torn, because they were both so amazing, but so different. One was elegant and familiar with astrology and addiction issues and had money. He was like this worldly man with fantastic package hehe helped cure this mundane “what’s the point?” feeling I had about learning languages and stuff. He made me feel like there was in fact a point to all of it. He’s a scorpio just like me mum and we just had great chemistry. But I was already seeing a nother guy, who was this gentle, down the earth, all around manly man’s man. I loved him, but in a different way. He was simple, but the first time I slept over at his house, he picked me up in this kinda old but kinda new like beat up stick shift hyudai sedan. He reminded me of Wario. But he had an amazing package as well. we mostly just slept though ,and when I slept with him, I felt like I was back in bed with my father when I was like five or seven years old. I already know how that sounds, and I know the childish bunch of you or dommage who lack a healthy relationship with your father if y’ar, are going to come for me and say that’s gross or messed up or perverted or weird. It’s not. I don’t want to fuck my father, I never have, and I never will. I really don’t want to open this can of worms because I could go on about people I’ve met who have been sexually assaulted by their fathers or who have an incest fetish and I’m not trying to shame any of those people. But, I felt like I was back in bed with my father like i was when i was a kid while I was laying with him, and that was a really, really, really good feeling. I never forgot it. He had an aries sun, which I used to hate aries. It was my least favorite sign, and probably still is tbh, along with aquarius LOL. Oh and his moon was in taurus which explained everything. My dad is a taurus sun, as are my two sisters, my grandpa, and one of my good friends, Chelsea. My moon is in virgo in the second house, which is the house of taurus.

Well, mr. fancy pants had an 11th house stellium, and my down to earth sweet S had a third house stellium. Finding these things out did nothing to absolve my confusion, only added to the ache of not knowing which to choose. Talk about love triangle though. It did make me realize why I was in this predicament though, and I suppose it worked out because I don’t really talk to either guy anymore. But The seventh and third houses are also air houses, just like the 11th. 

11th house - Aquarius/uranus, 

7th house - libra/venus, 

3rd house - gemini/mercury

That’s all for tonight. I’m ever behind on french homework, so I oughtta go take care of that. I want to write on the twelfth house, since my sun is in there as well as my father’s, and why I don’t appreciate its doom and gloom persona. If each house correlates to a sign, then the twelfth’s would be house of pisces. Pisces is the last sign with a bad stereotype. At least from my perception, it’s one of the best. So humanistic and kind. So why is its house the house of prison and addictions and psych wards and have all this hubbub, this &thatt?

Au revoir! -K  ý ll

Astrological Coincidences

this post started off as the importance of saggitarius and cancer in my life. i stayed true to that, but i was not expecting it to evolve into a 4500 word entry. read if you dare, it gets personal and drifts to anecdotes, involving gay unrequited love, but all kinda ties back together. i only scratched about half the surface, but there’s infinite time in the universe for these things. for everything, really. 

Since I started studying astrology some years ago, I’ve noticed a lot of “coincidences”, that I can’t help but feel the universe put there for some higher meaning. For example, I began to notice that most married couples possessed complementing signs. For example, water signs would date or marry other water or earth signs. Air and fire signs would date and marry each other as well. Of course, this isn’t always the case, but it always sticks out to me when a couple possesses two sun signs of opposite polarity. It’s more rare. 

My bishop of my church was a cancer (water) and his wife a saggitarius (fire), and now that I type this out, I realize another coincidence that has been revealed to me over the past few months. I would say Cancer and Saggitarius have been the two signs most on my mind lately. I am a cancer sun, and my pluto is in saggitarius. My draconic sun is in saggitarius, which I was pleased to find out. I’d much rather be a fire sign sometimes than water. Fire signs seem to have it all figured out, and are so confident in themselves. My virgo moon and sun square saturn have given me HELL.

Well, anyway. The bishop and his wife were pretty important to me when I was mormon. I liked them. I loved the church. They were sucessful church members, and good people. I still think about them almost every day, and pray for them and hope they are doing well. It is ironic to me now, that I realize two very important people to me in such a transformative, profound part of my life have these two signs.

My grandmother, who has practically raised me alongside my parents, has a saggitarius sun and a cancer moon. My cousin brenda is a saggitarius sun, so is my best friend Zoe, and my favorite dog Prince. My pluto is in saggitarius, and whether thanks to my scorpio mother or my aspects (sun quincunx pluto, moon square pluto, mercury & mars, and maybe even venus since they’re all conjunct, opposite pluto. A Harsh aspect I may add! jupiter semisquare pluto, saturn trine,uranus sextile, neptune sextile, trine ascendant, sesquidrate midheaven. whew!), I would consider myself a pretty plutonic person. It took me some years after high school to realize that most people do not operate at the level of depth I feel I do. It makes me lonely, batsh*t crazy, intimidating, and sadly, feared. I’m tempted to delve into my mercury opposite pluto and how that completely destroyed my mental health, but I wanna stay on topic.

Well, I guess this is a good segue then. I wear my heart on my sleeve, I Suppose it’s the cancer thing. Time and time again I would fall in love with “straight” men [they were predominantly straight acting/behaving but I know at least one of them messed around with dudes, the other one I don’t really care, and the other is likely a closet case) but anyways, I would fall in love with these straight men. 

The first time was sophomore year, I fell deeply in love with someone and would think about him all day every day. I would dream about him, imagine scenarios with him that would never occur, but I kept it all a secret. Maybe it was part infatuation, but maybe it was deeper. He reminded me of Jake Gyllenhaal, also a saggitarius! who was my absolute favorite actor. Although I eventually got over my love for him, it did kind of hurt me in a way, whether it be from low self esteem or just carrying a secret like that. I’ve always been tempted to blame my mood “disorder” or psychological problems on being gay, but even per the gay community I am eccentric. Weird. Crazy. 

The next unrequited love was during a summer leadership program before my first year of college. I was extremely ambitious. I wanted to be a CEO, a millionaire. The next big actor or entrepreneur. And it felt possible! at least, for a moment...

Well, there was a handsome fellow in the program, and I became fixated on him. I thought about him constantly, wondered if he thought about me, too. Of course, part of me kind of knew he wasn’t, but what was so confusing to me at this point was why would I be feeling so deeply and strongly about this guy if he wasn’t feeling the same way about me? Perhaps that’s where the delusions start. I don’t know, you know. It just didn’t make sense. He HAD to be thinking about me because I was absolutely in love with him, right? And it wasn’t just a sex thing. I don’t know what it was, frankly, because my memory escapes me. I think I just was so curious about him and wanted to be around him constantly. IDK. But after leaving the program and returning home before the start of the semester, I gathered up enough courage to send him a message on facebook and ask him on a date. Honestly, I couldn’t NOT do it. It was driiving me insane, how much I was thinking about him. Something absolutely had to be done, but I guess I’m just not one to let an opportunity pass me by. I told my coworker at penn station what I had done, and she said “you’re very brave”. 

Her reaction kind of puzzled me because it was not what I was expecting. I guess she is right, it is brave of a man to ask another man out on a date, especially if you’re unsure of his sexuality. It could have been nasty, but honestly it was quite the opposite. He simply responded that he wasn’t gay, we exchanged a few more messages, and I suggested we could hang out if he was interested (but platonically, of course (; xD) He was super nice whenever he saw me around campus, and honestly looking back at it, I’m getting kind of emotional. Because if anybody handled a gay man hitting on them the right way, it was this guy. He made it clear he wasn’t interested, but still treated me like a human. He gave me a high five one day on campus and I dunno, it was like nothing was wrong. And of course, I got over him. I didn’t get hung up on him, it was pretty easy for me to move on because he just wasn’t interested. But I won’t ever forget how I felt that summer before college. 

Of course, as I wear my heart on my sleeve, it was not long before I fell in love with someone new. I suppose I should tie this back into astrology. This summer before college was when I started getting interested in it. I began looking up people’s signs and who’s compatible with cancer. Partly on tumblr and just google searches, and your typical superficial commercial astrology articles. This is how it started, and I remember that guy being a leo, and me being upset because I’m a cancer, and we’re not compatible with leos. I suppose I was searching through the stars to measure up my chances with this guy. If I remember correctly, I probably googled things like how to tell if a guy is gay. But then, I was already doing stuff like that in high school. Omg I just thought of other crushes I’ve had, so maybe I don’t need to go down the list. I can just bring up the ones that are more relevant to this post, which are the saggitariuses!

 So I became obsessively infatuated with this saggitarius after I had left the Mormon church. It had been a rocky week. My crippling indecisiveness and existential fear of punishment and damnation had reappeared as I was slowly distancing myself from the Mormon church and its teachings. I had been in the cult er I mean covenant (just kidding, I still love ya Mormons) for two years of my life, had shaped my world view (as best as I could) and made plans for my future around this religion I had become so deeply apart of. I was a MORMON, I wanted EVERYONE to know. I truly fell in love with the Mormon church. Anyways, I couldn’t resist m*sturb*ting (censored for tumblr) and watching p*rn. P*rn is such a loaded term though, because are shirtless dudes on Instagram considered pnography? Ugh!

Well, I eventually hooked up with this guy off grindr. He was actually nuts and kind of threatened me and scared me. Perhaps he is the one who sewed that seed in me, and I am merely possessed by the same demon that inspired him to blow up at me for not wanting to come back over his apartment for a second hookup, and then messaging me saying “I’m outside”. Like, he didn’t know where I lived, but I was scared. I was like 19 or 20, he was probably in his late 30s. I dunno. I was upset about it and told my dad and he made me feel better by threatening to kick his a**. I later talked to his boyfriend (this is gay culture remember) and he apologized for him, and I actually ran into him at Fazoli’s or somewhere and he looked kinda ashamed/embarrassed. So like I forgave him I guess, or at least I just moved on and didn’t dwell on it. He was blocked on socials for years, which says something, because I don’t really block people. I was more angry about it than anything, because it was like undeserved on my end. Today though, as I write this, I’m wondering what was going through his mind. In a compassionate sense, not a judgmental one. Now that I’ve lost my noggin once or twice, I kinda get it….

Well, the next morning, I was being angsty and 20 and mad at the world and my mother and yada yada. I still don’t know if my tendency towards anger is a rather natural, human thing that most people just don’t talk about, or if I am in fact angry more often than most and more intensely. Maybe, because of my harsh moon aspects (moon square mars, moon square pluto) plus I’m a cancer scorpionic person, right? Well my friend Patrick who is a pisces sun cancer moon made me feel like I wasn’t the only one who feels things so intensely. And my friend gracie, who I can tell anything to. Shes a saggitarius sun and scorpio moon, wow did I freaking forget to mention her earlier in this post? Wow, so yes, another very important person in my life who coincidentally is a saggitarius. She knows anger, and I’m thankful for it.

 Well, I run off with my car, which I’m blessed to have from my grandparents (thank u grandpa Wilson and Sondra, I don’t think I ever expressed how thankful I was for that car but I really was. Thank you.) I end up all the way in Elizabethtown, like 45 minutes outside of Louisville, because I just wanted to get the fuck away. So of course my horny 20 year old ass gets on grindr, and almost immediately, this dude sends me the most gorgeous dick pic my little 20 year old heart had ever seen. I was like jaw on the floor wow, I wish I still had the picture! I was kinda nervous and still new to the whole hookup app thing, so I was like just sitting there, in the mcdonald’s parking lot, wondering if I should go or not. Then, he sent me a face picture, and if he wasn’t the most absolutely stunning, drop dead gorgeous man on the PLANET. Holy shit, I was in love from those two pics alone. The dick pic was giving me like trashy straight white man in a wife beater and basketball shorts vibes. Like a slimey criminalesque guy who knows how to fuck. But then he sent me that face pic and it was like the freaking sun shining on me like I was a sunflower or something. Drop dead beautiful. Anyway I hurry my ass on over there. I recall now that I was NOT looking my best, and honestly had I been a little better groomed, maybe things would have turned out differently. Maybe not. But I was wearing this like ugly like suede-ish or curdoroy-ish deep red shirt, like a worker’s shirt like a cowboy or something. I dunno why I thought that shirt was cute and didn’t give it away. I really didn’t vibe with it, but at this point in my life I was always doing what I thought I /should/ be doing, not what I felt like inside. Had to be manly, right?

Well, anyway, I looked like trash and felt like trash. I had this shitty buzz cut because I had buzzed my hair, I had some scruff, I hadn’t douched or like properly even just soaped up my ass. Like gee what was I thinking, haha. I’m so dumb. I guess I was only planning on giving him a blow job or something, but boy when he grabbed my ass did I regret not being cleaned down there. Damn if I could have taken that man’s cock, cuz it’s looking like that may have been my only chance. Ha!

Well, I get there, and of course I hesitate before I went it, and I would later use this to justify other things that went wrong in my life. Because I chose the wrong thing, which is to have [GAY] pre-marital sex, which was wrong in the Mormon church and would make me feel guilty and bar me from serving a mission (which was extremely and shockingly disheartening). Now you see why I say this man got good dick? He took it all. My pride. My shame. I kid. But I did lose a lot from these hook ups, but that was from my own lust. But this guy, E-town I would go to call him, was honestly like my dream man. He was tall, a football player’s build. I am absolutely weak for a football player, a linebacker. Especially after they’ve put on some weight! I need a man who looks like he eats a freaking steak! And plays cornhole!

I remember feeling shy and nervous for reasons outside of him and for reasons that had to do with how drop dead gorgeous he was, and I’m just a pretty shy person, no matter how far I pushed myself to be type A, extroverted, CEO successful Kyle. Straight masculine kyle ha ha.

I remember sitting on his bed, next to him. I kinda just sat there and looked at him, he put his hand on my knee, and kind of titled his head to the side and… kissed me? I don’t remember. I feel like the next thing I remember is him pulling down his (Red?) basketball shorts and watching that big fat dong slip out. And of course I went to work. (sorry mom! if ur reading this). Damn, did I suck that dick. It had to be for like 20 or 30 minutes, which honestly is kinda long lasting in the realm of anonymous internet hook ups! And for a blow job! Maybe it was only 10 minutes, who are we kidding. I don’t know, but it felt amazing and it felt like forever. I’m gonna get into the grimey details here, because I can and want to.

He like laid down on his bed and I like crouched over him and sucked that dick. It was just as great as the picture, as was he. He looked strong and masculine, and beautiful, really, sitting next to me just moments prior. The reason this hook up was so important was because I had a realization, or feeling, that was impactful on my spirit while I was sucking this hunk a junk’s dilly will. Besides the embarrassment I feel at his reaction when I reached down for his feet while I was sucking away (he looked to the left uncomfortably, fine, no feet play), I recall just you know, doing my thing on his bed, then kinda looking up and opening my eyes and this thought just kinda hits me, or appears to me, “What is wrong with this?”

“What is wrong with this?”

It was a thought that I guess had more of an impact on me than I realized, because it’s been like four years since that has happened and I have not gone back to the Mormon church. I suppose his cock literally killed the homophobia inside of me. Lust, love (mars, venus), whatever you want to call it, led me to that man and that situation. If I hadn’t been attracted to him, I wouldn’t have gone over, right? He brought up something about catfishing before I came over, and joked about how he pretended to not be home or something when the guy showed up at the door. I dunno, I guess these details put me at ease and led me to complete the task. The night before, before going to that mean guy’s house, I was like pushing myself back and forth back and forth like don’t do this, but something in me just needed to I guess. Is sex like a human need? Apparently! But I remember the tug of war that was going through me, because I didn’t want to give into the homophobia.

And wow, if something didn’t just click! I was never really afraid of Mormonism or Mormon theology. I don’t think I ever truly believed in it, I just wanted it to be true so bad I was willing to compromise so many things. And I wasn’t quite afraid of anything but homosexuality itself. I was afraid of being gay. Point blank simple. But what can I say? I have a high as fuck sex drive and I like sucking cock. I love men. I don’t know if that makes me gay or trans or a bottom or a faggot or what, it’s just what it is, you know? And I guess that’s what that feeling was that surfaced as I was sucking Austin’s dick. Austin B——

I saw little things in him that just made me convinced he was placed on this earth for me. He had a buddha head statue in his house, he had the local news playing on the TV while we hooked up. Which is just funny cuz a. the TV was on, and b. it was the local news. Like why was he watching that. The only person I know who watched that was like my grandma. And it was like the morning time, I dunno I probably would have been watching cartoons or Disney channel or history channel, not the local news. And I wouldn’t have had the TV on during a hook up, but I’ve learned that not everyone shares my electrosensory sensitivities.

He also mentioned having a gardener, and the fact he is literally football player type looking like a Greek god Hercules in the pic he sent me on the Versace beaches of Italy, tan, large, and had a humungous lizard. I was like obsessed and infatuated or whatever. And apparently it was abundantly clear because I feel he took my actions out of proportion, turned them against me, then expressed these negative, mean things to ryan weekly and later craig, my saggitarius boyfriend, at big bar. Like, honestly that’s just hurtful. But I suppose these seemingly normal things, which I took as a sign that he was the one for me and I just assumed recipricocity. Maybe that’s my problem, even to this day. I assume if I have a feeling, it is immediately shared by the other person. Huh, I’ll have to think about that.

But I didn’t talk to him for like months, because I was fucking scared. Like, I didn’t wanna get hurt. But boy did I get hurt HA. Well, I add him on facebook, because it was connected to his phone number that he had given me. I honestly thought this was not that weird, but now that I’m processing things I’ve been told and looking back at it, he might have found this odd. But like, they’re connected. It’s the digital age. I thought he was younger than he was because his grindr age was a couple years low, so I was confused. I thought he was rich because his age said like 26? Or 23? I don’t remember. It doesn’t sound old now, but to me it felt kinda old cuz I was only 20 at the time. I was like wow, he has a gardener and his own place and is that young? Like he must have a bachelor’s degree, comes from a wealthy family, etc. which I now realize I assumed because I was surrounded by that at Atherton and centre. It was kind of ingrained in me that everyone went to college and wanted to go to college. That’s just what I thought was normal, but no he didn’t go to college and neither do most people. Especially in Kentucky.

Well I also changed the color of our messenger chat because I was like haha I saw your picture from play!!!!! Omg I remember now. I did not in fact add him from his phone number on facebook because I probably correctly assumed that would have been creepy. I spent months thinking about him, then after I had gone to Play with travis on new years, I think I saw that Austin was in one of the pictures and I used that as an excuse to add him!

Ok, now things are adding less up. If I didn’t add him from his phone number, that’s one less strike against me. The play thing is like a normal thing, right? I mean I’m used to myspace and shit I’m friendly, I feel like adding people and browsing play’s page would be a normal thing. The changing of the messenger colors was honestly just a new feature and I thought it was cool, it was kind of a cute uwu flex that showed affection. Maybe he just thought it was weird and creepy. Maybe he just thought I was an unmemorable hookup, because I didn’t look my best or feel my best, and when he grabbed my ass I told him that I needed to shower. Then he had to go to some football game or something.

I’m not sure what other events exactly transpired, but I was hooked on this man but obviously super cautious about how I approached it. It’s ironic isn’t it, that I was so weary about being perceived as bad or undesirable that I held on to feelings for so long, but ended up getting fucked over in the end anyway.

The only thing I can think of which was weird was when I texted him A BUNCH that one night I showed up at nadia’s after fighting with my dad and driving all the way to Glasgow because I had this persistent urge and spiritual compulsion / delusion that I was being called AWAY. That I needed to LEAVE PERMANENTLY and that would solve all of my problems. I suppose that was dramatic of me. Well I must have been smoking weed or something because I was a little too open with my emotions and sent him a bunch of texts and said I was gonna make art about him. Which in retrospect I am super embarrassed about, because that’s like a vulnerable thing for me to say especially to someone who is about to be spewing hatred towards me. Like let’s face it, this man did not have good intentions for me. Maybe he never did. Wow. Wow. Huh. That’s a revelation.

I was just someone he was somewhat attracted to but didn’t really care about otherwise, I guess. I dunno. Wish I knew tbh. But I was like accidently nearby him on grindr, like probably less than a mile away, but that is entirely not my fault, because nadia lived in crescent hill, which is a densely populated area that I, ME, am familiar with. I spent two years on Frankfort ave with Andrew. It’s my turf, bitch. My bad, you bought some “fancy” apartment in crescent hill with your stupid Kroger manager job because you think you’re fancy and cosmopolitan but you’re actually just an idiot. I don’t even think he used the right to and your. Maybe he never said those words idk. But I remember trying to have a text convo with him and just feeling so AWKWARD. Like UGH why would it feel awkward!!!!! If I literally was in love with him and wanted to lick his feet and OH

He also looked like a fucking famous movie star director. Not an actor, not a model, not a celeb sports player, but like his vibes just screamed FAMOUS DIRECTOR. And honestly, that’s not something I would have sought out before but it was sexy. As. Fuck. I don’t fetishize directors like I do policemen or firefighters, but damn he looked fucking intoxicating.

 I was working at Costco. Well, after my emotional outburst and telling him I’d make art about him (which honestly, ought to neutralize the whole damn situation. That’s just sweet and charming as fuck. And obviously shows that I’m an emotional and caring person who just isn’t very good at expressing myself. Or maybe I was, and because he wasn’t interested and is just mean, he twisted it to make it look like I was creepy. I was surprised to find out ryan weekly knew him, and when we chatted he like joked around with me about it. But he told me that Austin was really scared of me, “like for his life”. Part of me wants to say ryan was just being dramatic and mean, but now that I remember /how/ he said it, I think it was honest. Which is disturbing, because Austin was never in danger… that was a delusion on his part. Ha! I suppose I was just suffering from his delusions and assertion of his will, or whatever. If yaw anna look at it astrologically.

But ryan was kinda mean. He told me I was awkward and weird because I like would randomly laugh to myself or something. Like how is that weird…. Like I just don’t understand why that would have bothered him and why he would have felt the need to tell me I was weird or inferior or something. I mean I know we had history with kayla and all, but I had forgiven all that and genuinely liked hanging out with ryan before. But, he is also one person who first called attention to my “anger issues”

So maybe that answers my question from before. If two separate people make the same comment or observation about my emotional nature, maybe there is some accuracy in it. Maybe I’m fooling myself by thinking it’s a common thing just because I’ve found good, healing validation in who would become my close friends. But I suppose that is why they are my close friends, and ryan w—— is not.

Anyway, e-town was a saggitarius, and maybe because my pluto is in saggitarius, and is poorly aspected my mars, mercury, and my moon. Maybe that is what created this whole mess to begin with. I guess I can’t exactly be mad, but I mean damn what the fuck God?!

If I wasn’t wrong for sucking dick, because “what’s wrong with this?” then I wasn’t being punished for it. Right? If I hadn’t done the wrong thing, I wouldn’t have been punished….. IF you’re going on basic right vs wrong. Of course in the real world, innocent people get punished for things they haven’t done or for things they have done but just isn’t wrong. It’s like, subjective and relative to the situations and circumstances at hand. Maybe this is just one of those situations, too, and that’s just the detached truthful reality of it. Huh.

Now I could go on to talk about Craig, the next saggitarius romantic endeavor that ended in total disaster. Absolute volcanic eruption. Not supervolcano, but maybe just an island volcano that kills hundreds of people. Damn, I felt that.

I remember smoking weed and feeling like a woman who was psychotic and in space and crashed the entire spaceship because someone did something to upset her. I mean, it’s happened before. The pilots that have taken down entire planes full of passengers, just to kill themselves. That just doesn’t make sense to me. Why not just kill yourself? Why take a whole crew of random passengers with you? And it just doesn’t feel anti-social to me, like he thought people were bad and deserved it. The feeling I may be intuiting that it was just carelessness.? But that doesn’t feel right either. Maybe it was impulse and on a whim. Maybe it was a hint of psychopathy and a strong feeling he had and just took the chance. Maybe he wanted fame. Attention. Who knows. Is this what life is? Detachedly making sense of all this chaos and trauma, and death and loss and unknown? God!

I’m tempted to say this is all so psychotic, but in fact i do feel like it’s actually quite awesome, for once. All this chaos and unknown, but still being able to find happiness in it. That is such a wise, helping healing piece of perception. 

mon chien, prince. je l’adore. il est sagittarius. je lui ai donné plus d’attention qu’aux autres membres de ma famille. il a environ 13 ans. il aime explorer mais est assez anxieux.

This is Prince. you will see a lot of him. he is a sagittarius, which is an important sign for me in this incarnation. my pluto is in sagittarius at 0° in my fifth house. the house of leo. this means i draw energy from creative endeavors, though i never seem to get enough “fun”. this rings true to me because whenever i go out to the bars, i never want to leave. it was a dream of mine to make it big in the nightlife scene.

my grandmother, cousin, best friend, prince, and a few love interests have been sagittarius’s. my mother is sagittarius rising. also, my draconic chart gives me a sagittarius sun, which is supposedly your soul’s sun, rather than just your one time incarnation’s sun, which is what your natal chart shows you.

You appear (wholesome) and are a bit ((of) an enigma) ....you show it in a (sentimental) way when you're feeling (detached)

You appear _____(rising) and are a bit ___(moon)....you show it in a ___ (mars) way when you're feeling ___(sun)

Rising

Aries: victorious

Taurus: luxorious

Gemini: screwy

Cancer: wholesome

Leo: warm

Virgo: clean

Libra: unattached

Scorpio: mythical

Sagittarius: exotic

Capricorn: put-together

Aquarius: unusual

Pisces: alluring

Moon

aries - loud

taurus - materialistic

gemini - insane

cancer - anxious

leo - rude

virgo - an enigma

libra - charming

scorpio - dark

sagittarius - mixed up

capricorn - driven

aquarius - helpful

pisces - soulful

Mars

Aries: agressive

Taurus: lazy

Gemini: misleading

Cancer: sentimental

Leo: extravagant

Virgo: poised

Libra: flirtatious

Scorpio: paranoid

Sagittarius: wild

Capricorn: logical

Aquarius: eccentric

Pisces: poetic

Sun

aries - energized

taurus - aroused

gemini - impulsive

cancer - nostalgic

leo - confident

virgo - healthy

libra - romantic

scorpio - introverted

sagittarius - impossible

capricorn - motivated

aquarius - detached

pisces - inspired

Astro Notes VI ☆

Hi everyone, it's been a long time since my last astro notes post, I hope you are all happy and healthy!

Sun can indicate who you're potentially going to be while growing up. ⭐Example, you might have a cap sun but not be very ambitious, because you're meant to become ambitious as your grow up🌞

Venus in virgo can be pretty loving and romantic, but you need to make them feel like everything is under control🍂

Aries rising might have small & very circular eyes

Venus or Mars well-aspected with Uranus, can be a sign of a different sexuality or a sign of wanting to experiment romantically

Taurus is as sensual and romantic as Libra, due to Venus. Main difference is that Taurus pays a lot more attention to using the 5 senses in a romance and sex than Libra who is a more idealistic♀️

Gemini likes experimenting with several different love partners

4th house is also about the parental figure closer to the child. 🏡It doesn't have to be specifically the mother or the father

5th house placements may say something about your children🎀

It's said that the trio of sun/moon/mercury in Gemini, cancer and Leo, make the best actors🎭

Mercury in Gemini indicates a nice voice. Also any good placement/aspect of mercury can do that

Leos might look down when they smile😁 or laugh

Aquarius wants to change society and then to stabilize the new⚡

Pisces moon is the most sensitive moon of all, taking in every emotion in the room

Scorpio (sun/moon/mars/saturn/jupiter) is meant to be an emotional healer. But first, they have to deal with their own psychological trauma 🥀

Sagittarius mercury may not think a lot before they speak. Sagittarius jupiter, is much more considerate

Uranus, Neptune and Pluto, are so far away and move so slow, that only their houses affect personally each human. The sign placements of these planets, affect society and the world as a whole 🗺

The great Conjuction between Jupiter and Saturn in Aquarius, is meant to change humanity a lot, in many levels; political, social, economical. Aquarius is the bearer of revolution and science

Isn't it interesting that Capricorn sun can be very extroverted 💥 while cap moon is totally introverted? 👉🏽👈🏽

In case you were wondering, 6th house includes: health and health issues, pets, everyday life and work, co-workers in your job, open enemies (7th house can be about that too)

Mars in pisces express it's anger poetically and artistically. Libra mars might prefer music. Capricorn Mars (exaltation) might like drawing or building things, really nice placement for architects and engineers. Virgo Mars in probably the best hard worker and Aquarius Mars in really random in the things they do.👻👾

Better not to go to the doctor or to plan a surgery during a mercury retrograde👩🏼‍⚕️🧑🏿‍⚕️

Sars covid-19 is probably a scorpio because it started spreading during scorpio season (this is just a joke, don't take it seriously, don't attack scorpios)

Neptune in 1st house may create a lot of illusions about self. Neptune might be about fantasy and dreams, but don't forget it can be a very dangerous planet (illusions, lies)

Cancer and Pisces venus give off anime vibes to me lol💫

Saturn works better and easier when it's in the first 6 signs (Aries to Virgo)

Saturn in 8th house shows the fear of growing up while people around you pass away... but it can also mean that you're gonna die at an old age

Saturn in 7th house could be that you're gonna get married later in life

Aquarius/gemini/virgo/sagittarius mercury always have something interesting to say

🕯🎶♥️That's it everyone, thank you for all the likes in my previous posts. Happy New Year, be safe and loved and loving. 🦋🌅☃️🌠🌙🌤

- George <3

Astro Notes V ☆

Those are just my observations and I can sure be wrong :)

Pisces and Gemini get easily distracted and there are times they do not want to take real action or make a decision. Libra IS indecisive but they are also a cardinal sign, which means that they'll always have a picture in mind of what they want, they are just not sure. Pisces and Gemini do NOT have even the picture in their minds

Many people misunderstand Scorpio because Scorpio is not expressive enough to show what they really meant

Saturn in harmonious aspects with Neptune indicates a balanced view of reality and phantasy. Maybe the person knows how to make dreams a reality

You make really nice friends with people that are the sign of your ascendant. For example Taurus rising makes easily friends with Taurus sun or moon etc

If somebody's mercury sign is opposite to your sun or moon sign, may mean that you cannot communicate well. For example you may have sun or moon in Sagittarius and the other person may have mercury Gemini etc etc.

Sometimes your moon or mercury sign has stronger energy than your sun sign. Especially the moon sign in women

Your moon sign shows the way you perceive your mother and your sun sign, may show the way you see your father

Moon's house shows ways you can express your feelings easier. For example moon in 3rd is through communication, 5th through fun and art, 8th through risk etc.

Venus has NOTHING to do with sex (at least when it comes to male charts). Mars, has nothing to do with friendships and flirting (at least when it comes to male charts again)

The planet that is strong to you, affects the way people look at you. You may be an annoyed by people and stressed Virgo but with Venus in Libra as your strongest aspect so people will perceive you as flirting, sweet, social butterfly and not as a Virgo etc.

Earth and Air signs love searching for the root of problems and not the problem itself

Water and Fire signs may give the vibe of deep and wise people, especially Scorpio, Pisces, Leo and Sagittarius

Sagittarius sun and mercury finds it hard to be evil or mean to somebody

Cancer, Taurus, Scorpio and Capricorn suns/moons make the most thoughts of wanting to hurt people they don't like. I don't say that they will kill you, but at some points they seriously have these thoughts and no I'm not kidding (:P)

I've never met a Leo that doesn't LOVE receiving compliments non stop

Sagittarius avoids accepting compliments

Sun and rising combos of Leo, Aries, Capricorn and Aquarius will make an absolute and maybe dictator-like personality. Taurus Suns can also be great dictators if they want to :P

Cancer loves food

Saturn in 8th gives the person a constant fear of losing people they love, and that they will stay alive watching loved ones dying

It is very common to listen to Pisces Moon/Mercury/Saturn and maybe Sun, people saying that they have to find a way out or to escape from something they are caged in

Capricorn Suns/Mercuries/Mars have extremely strong sex drive. Maybe just like Aries, Sags, and Scorpio

Aquarius people in groups may actually hate each other more than any other sign does

Hope you like it 😊

Have a wonderful and interesting day no matter where you live and don't forget to protect yourself ♡

Astro Notes IV ☆

Pisces holds some of the wisdome from all the previous 11 signs, which makes it the most wise sign but also the most confused one

Sagittarius people can be pretty bad liars

Ascendant is more about aura and energy than physical appearance

There's not a reason for this, but women Gemini Sun have a bad reputation

Taurus in 5th loves luxurious things

Possible Stelliums can be as important as your Sun, Moon and Mercury sign

Aquarius is the most realistic air sign

Pisces Sun/Moon/Mercury talks in a weird way and it's like they're living inside their own reality

Combinations of Cancer and Libra or 4th and 7th indicate marriage at a young age or pleasure when thinking about marriage

At their worse, Capricorns symbolize the love under conditions. Loving someone because they have hidden reasons behind it

Gemini, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Capricorn, Aquarius in 3rd, 5th, 7th, 10th and 11th, may indicate love for the city

Venus in Taurus is earthly, steady, loving, compassionate, predictable, slow, romantic and loves sensual pleasure, while Venus in Libra is fairy like, light, romantic, sensitive, diplomatic, charming and enjoys pleasing others

Libra is known as the most fair but also indecisive sign

Planets in 9th and 11th will make an open person that supports difference and small groups (black people, LGBTQ+, feminists etc.)

Cancer is talented at getting what they want in really quick ways

Virgo Sun/Venus/Mars will be very private and uncomfortable when taking about sex

This is not a fact, but all Virgos I know, love technology and tattoos. The technology thing maybe is connected to Mercury, Virgo's planet that symbolizes communication and media etc. I don't really know about the tattoos

When Saturn comes into our Sun sign, it's a period in our lives to reflect and heal. When Saturn returns to our birth's Saturn sign, we feel mostly blue but also responsible and mature

All Sagittarius people like travelling

Scorpio Sun/Mercury/Mars is extremely patient and dominant personalities

Planets in 1st show areas of our lives where we have leadership abilities on

Water signs except Scorpio (who is fixed), tend to change and adapt their behaviour depending on the situations. A Pisces Sun/Moon for example can change personalities just in seconds and from pure quiet they go to loud sexy etc

Never tell a Taurus or Pisces Sun/Moon/Ascedant/Mercury/Mars to hurry up

The common core of the polarity of Virgo and Pisces is that they are both about service. Virgo services people in practical, realistic and physical ways while Pisces wants to serve by emotions, wisdom and spiritual healing

Aquatius more than any other sign, can be addicted to sports' teams

Mars in a fire sign or in a fire house, indicates a strong body

Jupiter in Cancer will be lazy and will love good food

Taurus Sun/Ascendant may have big necks and short hair

Capricorn Sun/Ascendant may have eye or bone problems

Pisces likes water more than the other water signs, and probably more than any sign

Leo Sun is very confident and feel like they run their environment

Capricorns can have big ears

Gemini Ascendant is always curious, has really opened eyes that look everywhere

Cancer Sun/Moon/Venus/Ascendant/Mars attracts bullies

Cancer is really good at controlling money

Cancer is more sentimental and Pisces is more mystical

Capricorn in 9th will love flights that are connected to their job

Scorpio Ascendant/Sun has deep eyes that are hard to be read

Aries is stubborn but after some minutes they change decisions and then becomes stubborn again etc

Leo people may like having really long hair

Scorpio, Gemini and Aquarius are the ones to experiment with their hair more than the other signs

Your Moon shows how you see your mother

Your Sun can show how you see your father

It is not very possible, but your 3rd house may indicate the sign of your sibling(s)

Astro Notes III ☆

Libra Ascendant people may be either overweight or underweight

Venus in the 6th, 8th, and 12th can be attracted to sexually ambiguous people, that are generally really private about their sexuality

Pisces and Cancer Moon is somehow able to forgive anything and anyone (the time it takes, depends on the Mars sign too) and Pisces Moon is the most likely to believe that criminals should not be punished, but healed, no matter what they did

Capricorn in 4th will enjoy a work they can do from home

Mercury/Sun/Jupiter in 3rd will prefer online courses and Mercury/Sun/Jupiter in 9th will prefer to travel abroad in order to study (that really depends on your Jupiter sign too)

Placements of Sagittarius or 9th house show that the person will avoid negative people no matter what

Moon in 5th/12th will attract dramatic people and will have a hard time escaping from toxic relationships, especially if the Moon's sign is Leo or Pisces

Basically, Capricorns are attracted to sensitive, kind-hearted people but they also want you to be serious and responsible for your mistakes

10th can show insecurities you have when your are around people

All possible combinations of Gemini, Pisces, Virgo,3rd, 12th and 6th, create an active mind that never stops over-thinking and analyzing things

Pluto in the house of your Ascendant will make it hard for someone to express themselves the way they want to

Sun, Moon, or Mars in 6th or 10th makes the most realistic people

Libra Mercury has a lovely voice and may like flirting, while Taurus Mercury has a calming and trusting voice

When Mars or Saturn touch water signs, they become lazy, unmotivated and apathetic, but Mars in Scorpio can be pretty strategic and aggressive

Moon/Mercury in Scorpio and Sun/Moon/Mercury/Neptune/Pluto in the 8th house children, will hide most of their personal stuff from their family and may face problems with lying on purpose

Aries and Sagittarius Moon or Mercury people, are brutally honest, direct and always have an answer for everything in an argument

It's probable that someone's Moon or Mercury signs/houses may influence them more than their Sun's

Virgo is extremely private when it comes to sexuality, while Pisces and Gemini are mostly confused about it

Mercury in 5th indicates a good singing voice

Negative aspects between Moon and Pluto indicate eating disorders

Pisces in 20° is very lazy and likes giving orders

Venus shows your taste in fashion, but the 2nd house is more important when it comes to how you dress

It's hard to hear the heartbeat of someone with many planets in water signs or houses

Moon and Mars in fire houses, indicate warm hands and generally warm bodies

Aquarius Moon/Mercury can be much more self-centered than Leo in these planets

Libra Moon seeks more harmony in social relationships than Libra Sun

Uranus, Neptune and Pluto affect whole generations of people

Planets in their exaltation sings have more potential for development, than in their natural signs

People with Mars in Aries, Taurus, Leo, Capricorn or in 1st, 2nd and 5th, hide an animalistic side, especially in sex

The house our Pluto is in, shows ways we can transform ourselves

Our 11th house, shows things we are innovative about

Our future job is connected to our MC and Part of Fortune while Saturn and Jupiter show what we need from our job. For example MC in Gemini indicates a career in communication, media, writing etc and a Jupiter in Taurus indicates that what we need from our career is security and stability

Astro Notes II ☆

10th house Stellium indicates interest in career and social status

Scorpio Mars and Venus make really jealous partners

Scorpio Mars is a sign of a strong sexual aura and an intense personality

Capricorns with personal planets in Gemini/3rd house, have more commons with Virgos than with Taurus people

Charts with many Libra/Gemini/Aries signs or a combination of those, create people that like gossiping or making others' problems their own business

Our Jupiter sign indicates parts of our lives we get luck from

Libra Suns may have problems teamworking with Aries and Leo Suns

Libra Sun/Ascedant/Mercury/Moon people can be liked by all signs at some point

The sign we have our 1st house (Ascendant) at, is an indicator of the things we like to start. For example 1st house in Cancer would like to start a family first etc

Cancers can be as good managers, business people etc., as Capricorns, and Capricorns can be as caring parents as Cancers. They just have different priorities

Where we have our Uranus house at, shows life unexpected changes

It is possible that if we meet someone who their Sun sign is our Saturn's sign, we are going to have a hard relationship

Jupiter/Sun in Libra people are the best diplomats

Scorpio, Sagittarius and Capricorn are the three signs with the highest libido, especially in Mars

The most misunderstood signs are Gemini, Scorpio and Capricorn

Scorpio Moon/Mercury people are extremely private and careful with what they say. Scorpio Suns can be mysterious but it's easier for them to open up after some time

Astro Notes ☆

Capricorn's ruling planet is Saturn, the planet of restriction, so it's possible that capricorns may feel more restricted in many thing of their lives, in comparison to other signs

Pisces Sun, Moon, Mars and Neptune may be addicted to alcohol, drugs, people, substances etc

Sun conjunctions with Moon/Venus give more feminine characteristics to the person and create a balance with their feminine side

Venus in 3rd gives people talent at complimenting or saying sweet words to others

Aquarius Mercury can be just as dogmatic as a Capricorn Mercury

Neptune in 4th indicates pleasure with living close to water

Sun in 3rd has many ideas while Moon in 3rd has a vivid imagination

Mars in Taurus is much more aggressive than Mars in Pisces. Mars in Taurus PREFERS not to react, whereas Mars in Pisces feels unable to react

Venus in Virgo people may like spending time with animals

Saturn indicates hidden talents we have but also obstacles that have a connection with our talents. For example, Saturn in Gemini is good at organising its thoughts but it may feels very anxious about a public speech

Possible Stelliums in signs or houses are extremely important

Your Descendant is more important than your Venus, when it comes to the ideal partner

Pisces Sun/Ascendant and possibly Moon, gives big and sweet eyes

Libra/Taurus/7th house in personal planets or Ascendant, creates a good taste in fashion, decoration, design and makes the person really observant about the outside world

Scorpio is talented at observing the inner world of people

Generally water signs are better psychologists and fire signs are better life coaches/therapists

Aries is the friendliest fire sign, followed by Sagittarius and Leo

Personal planets in Gemini or 3rd house make bored students who are never focused but still remember the classes and are easily passing at exams

It's possible that personal planets in 12th house may not be spotted at someone's personality

Pluto in 4th is a sign of a bad relationship with the family or the mother

Except from sex, the 8th house is also about money, anger, secrets and dangerous risks

Positive aspects between Sun, Mars, Jupiter and Uranus give high adrenaline and a love for motion, adventure and fun

Sun in 11th is a sign of good friends and success

Sun in 10th is a sign of restrictions and failure, but also practicality and inner strength

At the age of 30, we may feel like our Saturn's sign

Mercury in a water sign shows that the person's emotions are connected to their mind

Pisces Mercury finds it hard to explain its thoughts to others and Chiron/Saturn in Gemini/3rd house believe that others cannot understand them anyway

Leo/Aquarius/Gemini/Libra/Pisces and 5th/11th/3rd/12th in personal planets are indicators of artistic abilities

9th house in signs may show things we are dogmatic about

Sun/Mars/Saturn in 6th make a stressed person

Negative aspects of Sun/Venus/Ascendant with Neptune indicate a person that cannot accept themselves the way they are

Negative aspects between Moon and Venus show difficulties with personal and romantic relationships

Negative aspects between Sun and Moon indicate a person that hides their real feelings from the surface and are generally hard to open to others

Our Moon in stunning 8K

NGC 6914 - 14.5 hrs SHO w/rgb stars