Latest Posts by mor-ranr - Page 6

how did you /know/?

now here’s a common question: how do you know you’re aro? 

Since aromanticism is a lack of attraction, a lot of people spend years just… assuming they’re allo, simply because they don’t know that they can be aro. I know I did. So, here’s a list of some things that helped me figure out that I was aro, and then some extra from various other sources I’ve read over the years, formatted in such a way that my ADHD ass can actually read the whole thing.

Imagine someone attractive. Literally anyone, by any measure. I used to take those quotev quizzes when I was younger, the ones that would tell you which Harry Potter boy would have a crush on you, if you remember those, so I did this one with I think Fred Weasly (there’s your Casey fun fact of the day). Make sure they’re someone you like. Now imagine kissing them. Do you want to? Is it enjoyable in any way? How? If not, pick someone else. What about them? Now imagine them confessing their UNDYING LOVE to you. How’s that feel? 

This one works best if you’re 1)romance repulsed, and 2)not ace (aka if you’re ace this might just tell you if you’re sex repulsed. Also good to know! but not what we’re looking for).

Do you ever get confused about people not just… dropping a crush? Do you “chose” who to have a crush on? For me this felt like “hmmm he’s [conventionally] hot, guess I’ve got a crush on him”, which. Is NOT how that’s supposed to work. Apparently.

This one’ll work if The Heteronormativity Was Strong when you grew up, but may work regardless. Also squishes are easy to confuse for crushes! 

Have you ever had a crush on someone? What did that feel like? Was it bad? Good? It’s supposed to be less like the anxiety of preforming onstage (if you hate public speaking), and more like the rush of a roller coaster drop. Something that could be described as “bad” or “anxiety”, but also something that a lot of people seek out. A crush is supposed to be a net good (for the record I don’t know this from personal experience, not really, but figuring this out helped me realize that I had not had a crush. ever.)

This one still works best if you’re romance repulsed, but should work regardless of your sexual orientation

Have you dated someone? How did it feel? Did you resist “completing” relationship milestones, such as first kiss? Did your partner ever get frustrated with, for lack of a better term, you not meeting their needs? Did you feel that they went to fast, even if you took months to build up to anything? I did! It sucked.

DO NOT DATE SOMEONE TO TEST THIS oh my god please don’t, it sucks so much, I nearly ruined a friendship because of this, if it hasn’t happened already do NOT date someone just to try. Unless you really think you can make it work! If you really want to because you think you’ll enjoy it or it’ll make you life better, go for it, but don’t go into a relationship you don’t want or aren’t ready for because you feel you have to. Anyway this one works best if you’re a socially anxious wreck like me who needs everyone around em to be happy, all the time.

Have you found yourself IDing as bi, or pan, and it just… not really fitting? Or maybe you’ve found yourself going in circles with other IDs, cycling through because none of them really work? For me, this was “hmm, don’t wanna date boys, so I guess I wanna date girls, but I feel exactly the same about boys AND girls, so I guess I bi, but-” just around and around and around. Very unproductive! which is why it took me what, five years to figure out I was aro whoops

this one should work for everyone! if you’ve experienced that. But let’s be real, if you’re here, you probably have. 

And those are the five things that helped me realize I was aro, placed into convinient bullet point format, with shiny colors and bold. I hope this is helpful!

Well, we'll see...

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

infp secret #38

i hate change, and i’m afraid to fall in love.

i hate watching my friends, my siblings, my cousins become a different person, and leave behind the people that used to be enough. i watch once stoic and independent people become whiny and clingy. i scroll through their instagrams that used to be filled with the adventures we used to take, and now it’s filled with their selfies of them and their “boo”.

they tell me “oh, just wait until you get a boyfriend!” well if that’s the cost of finding love, i don’t want it. people that i’ve let in close, let them see the real me– i’m not abandoning them for a boy! who do i fall back on if i desert the only other people besides my family that have stood by me? they are my family! 

maybe that boils down to commitment issues. i’m not really sure. i know, at our cores, infp’s have to be true to themselves, and the thought of me sacrificing the person i’ve become and all that i am for the sake of a boy horrifies me. 

i guess that’s why i’m still single.

INFP Problems #1

INFP: *Is comfortable enough with a person to start speaking about their life*

INFP: *Talks for 10 minutes straight*

INFP inside: *Halfway through their rant* Oh no what if I'm boring this person... what if they don't care, what if they think I'm annoying?

INFP: So anyway... what do you think? *nervous laugh*

INFP inside: Please don't hate me.

7 Difficult Things About Being an INFP

There are certainly many great things about being an INFP personality type. We’re highly creative individuals who inspire others. We have a rich inner world that allows us to escape the dryness of a life filled with routine and structure.

We show an amazing amount of compassion for others, despite being so different from the rest of the population. We’re deeply sensitive and caring, and the best part is that we usually don’t expect anything from anyone in return.

Yet, I feel there are a few challenges to being an INFP. Here are seven of them. INFPs, can you relate?

1. Never really being able to finish anything you start

We live in a world of endless possibilities, and we INFPs always want to explore something new. We are often good at starting something, but we are rarely able to finish as we expected — or worse, never at all.

If I were to write a list of things that I had started but left incomplete, I wonder if even that list would be completed. I have enrolled in tons of online courses over the years but I haven’t completed a single one. I barely finish any book I buy, and I don’t think I’ve ever watched a full season of any TV series.

I know our souls don’t know a thing about deadlines, but unfortunately, our bosses and professors do.

I was quite excited when I started out writing this article, but I feel really lucky to have completed it.

2. Not being assertive enough

When we’re alone, we often find ourselves playing a conversation with our best friend in our head, but when he or she shows up, we go quiet.

We have a rich inner world where we often speculate about ideal possibilities. But sometimes it acts more like a cage and prevents the words within us from finding their way out.

We are not assertive enough when it really matters, even if we were really excited and motivated going into the situation.

For example, I find it impossible to study the day before an exam even when I have not yet studied anything. I had not even started my physics project till the day before the submission deadline, but even on that day, I barely did anything. I am not much different from my peers, except that they do study the day before the exam, and they do complete the project before the deadline.

We usually procrastinate till the end, but even at the final moment, we make most of our decisions by either thinking, “Just let it go” or “Let’s see what happens.”

3. Over-planning or no planning at all

There are times when we check out every single book on a subject from the library, bookmark every single article available on the web, and watch every single video on YouTube. But we end up being confused and simply can’t figure out how to start planning our next travel adventure or writing our novel. Then we finally realize that this over-research was simply a way of procrastinating.

And there are times when we simply go with our gut feeling, with little or no planning at all. We simply move forward without caring about the details (thanks to our focus on the big picture), only to realize that we should have done a bit of research beforehand.

I wish I could be in the middle of this spectrum, but unfortunately, I often end up being on either extreme.

4. Offering compassion to people who don’t care about you

I don’t understand why I worry about inconveniencing the store clerk when he simply refuses to hear me. I don’t understand why I feel sorry for the professor who is correcting my not-so-perfect assignment who never seemed to care about my education.

I never understand why I feel guilty when I do not buy something from a salesperson (just because he used a few cute words), even though I know that it’s his job, and he just cares about his own profit.

5. Spending your energy constantly validating yourself instead of focusing on your goals

I don’t know how many I times I just keep telling myself that what I’m doing is okay, and I should not bother if someone does not like my idea. We INFPs sometimes move through a cycle of constant self-approval instead of working our way toward our goals.

For example, I want to start my own location-independent business rather than go to college. I know that in order to do that, I’ll need to develop some skills. I had this thought about four months ago, and a month later, I enrolled in college.

I have not taken any steps to start my business because I spend my time reassuring myself that I’m on the right track and I should just focus on the present. Today, I am exactly where I started. Had I focused on developing the relevant skills, I wouldn’t be enrolling for the next semester.

6. Worrying about helping others when the one who you should be helping is yourself

Even when we have no idea how we’ll pay our rent, we feel sorry for not giving money to a homeless person our own way home from being fired from our job.

I simply wish I could just let go when I come across moments when I find someone asking for help. But my highly sensitive soul simply doesn’t allow me to do so.

7. Having high standards but a low self-esteem

We think that we should be a Pulitzer Prize-winning author, but we do not want to enroll in a writing course because we feel we do not deserve that sort of luxury.

We think we should be able to code the next Facebook, but we are afraid of even trying to learn to code, because we feel we are not worth it.

We realize we need many things to achieve that “something,” but we feel unworthy of anything.

And that’s the only reason we feel like we’ve never achieved anything. Our high standards often backfire and lead us nowhere.

Despite all of theses problems, I love being an INFP. I just often find myself laughing at myself and wondering what on earth I am.

Source - Kumar Shashwat, IntrovertDear.com

INFP 3am musings

I hope my life has a happy ending. It would be sad if someone were like watching my life as a movie and I ended up dying from an accident or something.

*Looks up compatibility with all ex’s personailty types* I hate all my exes, they were stupid! No, I hate me for dating stupid people!

I want a cat.

I want to dance. *listens to music on phone for 10 minutes while dancing in bed, then goes back to being lazy*

I should organize my clothes. Tomorrow.

I think I’ve been in my room all day except to eat and go to bathroom. Tomorrow I’ll defintely go outside.

Why is no one up that I want to talk to?! Oh! Yay! That persons awake!! I’ll say hey! *after person says hi, INFP wishes they hadnt said anything*

What am I doing with my life!!? I have so much time to figure myself out because its summer, but I still am just lazy.

Do I have a type? I feel like I have liked so many different kinds of people…

Am I cute? Yes, yes I am. I dont feel it, but i am.

Are Asians my type?

Why am I staying up? Ugh! You can’t do this! This is probably why you don’t get anything done the next day!

Fine, I am going to sleep….*watches cat video*

Misconceptions of an INFP

1. They are super emotional.

I personally find this to be vague, but I’ve read and heard this a couple times. Just because we make our decisions based on our feelings does not make us “emotional”, at least in the bad sense of the word. Our “logic” can still be logical. Its from a different perspective. Besides, we can be quite cold and unemotional when we want to be or are extremely stressed.

2. They don’t plan.

We may be a P, but that does not mean we don’t plan. It just means we probably don’t have a plan. But when we do plan its about something we deem important enough.

3. They are shy.

I’m not saying I can speak for all INFP , because we do have different background, but I think the word “reserved” is far better used to describe us. We have to think your worth talking to before we do talk to you, when we decide your fine then there probably wont be a problem.

4. They live in their own fantasy world.

Now I find this one funny because, in a way thats true. However, this does not mean we cannot see reality. We know whats going on. However, we would rather believe in an ideal world. We try to make the fantasy a reality. If we don’t, well then we really may just try to live in a fantasy world and shut ourselves off from everyone.

5. They aren’t motivated.

Now I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I’ve ever met an INFP that wasnt motivated to do something. What they are motivated to do or what they are motivated by may look different than what may seem normal, but INFPs always find their passion. Its a part of their “whats my purpose ?” function and they dont truly rest until they find it.

6. They see the best in everyone.

We do see an ideal world and wish to see the best in people. However, we are not blind. We will not sit by while someone does something that goes against our core values. We have a strong inner sense of what is morally correct. Even if we are a bit off or incorrect in our belief, we will feel the injustice of someone going against them. Most likely, we will slowly remove ourselves from being around that person. However, if its injustice towards our close dear ones we will find a way to confront the person.

7. They cry a lot.

I read this somewhere and was surprised. INFPs rarely let other people see them cry. Most likely you will see an INFP cry from frustration before you see them cry from sadness. They dislike showing others their emotion because of their introverted feeling. They would rather remain calm, especially if another person with them is angry or sad.

8. They are emotionally tortured.

I also read this somewhere. It feels weird reading that , but I guess I can see why it may seem that way. If you ever talk to an INFP about personal things, you will see a pattern of them being in situations where they get their heart broken or hurt or even them going through a dark time of their life. However, INFP s are resilient. They can get knocked down quite a bit, but they most likely will always get back up. And they will have learned so much from these experiences that each time they will be smarter and stronger because of it.

Anyway, these are the few I could think of. Thanks for your support! It makes me want to write even more INFP stuff!!

The Truth About INFPs

It bugs me when I read online forums created by other INFPs and the first thing they do is apologize for being an INFP!

I get that we’re known as the daydreamers. The crybabies. The cinnamon rolls. The overly sensitive ones. But these are only stereotypes. It’s especially bad on Tumblr, where I’ve noticed some MBTI blogs clearly don’t bother to do their research.

INFPs are the most underestimated type. Yes, we are kind and empathic. Yes, we care about people and humanity and the environment - as should everyone?

Most people see ‘INFP’ and think we’ve got our head in the clouds and we’re never present in the moment. They think we don’t have the aptitude for science or math and can’t be intelligent. They think we’re clueless and let emotions guide us completely, as if we never use logic.

I can’t even begin to tell you how wrong they are.

INFPs are powerful. When threatened, we fight back so fiercely it’s unexpected. When we’re passionate, we get shit done. We become crusaders for our causes. We spearhead entire movements. We can be so surprisingly analytical, you’d think you’re talking to an INTJ. We’re witty like ENTPs. Charming like ENFJs. We can be so outgoing you’d mistake us for an ENFP. We can be as cutthroat as INTPs and you’d never expect such a thing from us because we’re mostly merciful. But everyone has their own quirks, some INFPs are passive while others are more confrontational. Some will keep quiet while others will attack you for your ignorance. And because the INFP can also be as observant as ISFPs, our verbal assaults are hurtful and strike the heart - the more we know about you the better we can exploit your weaknesses. And we will, if we’re really pissed off.

A lot of people seemed surprised when they figure out that INFPs aren’t as sensitive or as reserved as they thought they were. That’s probably because they only know us by our stereotypes. I really want to fix that.

INFPs are gentle hurricanes. We are lovely roses whose thorns can draw blood. We’re the snow that sparkles like crushed diamonds but will leave you with blistering frostbite.

What I’m trying to say is that INFPs are not submissive doormats so I’m asking all MBTI blogs to please do their research before giving us degrading stereotypes that makes some people think they must be emotionally weak, or that they’re not intelligent, or they’re prone to slacking off and daydreaming just because their result on the Myers Briggs test was INFP. We are among the most emotionally intelligent and resilient. We understand people’s feelings, thoughts and intentions so naturally and so deeply, we probably know you better than you do. We’re fiercer than you think. We’re more intelligent than you know. We are a force not to be taken so lightly. INFPs should be proud to be who they are.

INFP's flaws

INFP's mother: Why can't you remember one single thing we ask you to do? Like watering the plants, rearrange your room? Is it that hard?

INFP: *YES MUM, IT'S HARD BECAUSE I'M ALWAYS THINKING AND BEATING MYSELF UP FOR MY 57348 FLAWS AND TRYING TO FIX THEM BUT AT THE SAME TIME, ALL WHILE EXHAUSTING MYSELF TO ACCOMPLISH MY GOALS AND AT THE SAME TIME HAVE A FUCKING LIFE DESPITE MY LIFE ACTUALLY HAVING TONS OF EVENTS, MY MIND BEING JUST FUCKING ALLERGIC TO PLANS AND SCHEDULES JUST STRESSING ME THE FUCK OUT BY THE SOLE THOUGHT OF THEM, AND PEOPLE JUST DON'T REALISE HOW HARD AND DRAINING IT IS TO HAVE A BRAIN WHERE EVERY BIT OF TIREDNESS, LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND ANXIETY FLY UNSTOPPINGLY BETWEEN A WEB OF DREAMS, PROJECTS AND OVERWHELMING RESPONSIBILITIES TO RESPECT. IT'S SO FUCKING HARD TO THINK ABOUT WATERING THE PLANTS WHEN THERE'S SUCH A HURRICANE WITH A MILLION TABS OPEN RAGING IN YOUR MIND FUCKING ALL DAY.*

INFP: Okay, I made a mistake.

If The Types Came with an Instruction Manual: INFP Edition

Congratulations! You are now the proud owner/friend of an INFP! Here are a few things to take note of with your new best friend! Oh, you didn’t know INFP was now your best friend? Well now you do, because if you have one, it’s going to stay by your side for pretty much ever.

1. Your INFP comes with the innate ability to scope out good and bad! This particular model is very good at determining whether or not a person is being truthful and genuine or totally fake! You just acquired a lie detector as well. Your INFP will be able to break a person down in about 5 minutes flat !On top of that, they will warn you as well like the little Golden retrievers they are! 2. Your INFP is an INTROVERT! This means that more often than not, your INFP is going to be just as happy staying in and watching a movie by his or her self, than going out. So remember to keep the super social things down to a small amount or this will drain your INFPs battery.* They tend to like one on one things or a small group often a maximum of 3-5. Be sure to ask INFP how they feel. Be prepared for a 30 minute conversation.

*CAUTION: If INFP loves you, INFP will try to force itself to go to gatherings so as to make you happy. Then you will not see INFP for a week or more. Be careful with INFPs willingness to participate as likely they do it for you.

3. INFP cares Deeply!! Your INFP comes standard with the ability of caring too much and too deeply. Usually this trait makes them resent themselves more than anything, but when they find that person who appreciates them for it, they become very happy and stick to you like glue. Please be sure to listen to INFP when they speak and try your best to understand them, because 99.9999% guaranteed, your INFP listens to you and remembers most everything you like and dislike. 4. Your INFP usually likes one of the following: Writing, drawing, music, etc. This is a way your INFP expresses themselves, and is a very important thing to them. There is a 40% chance that INFP will show you there art/writing/music choices one day. When/If they do, know that INFP finds you very special, as this is very uncommon and you have become the chosen one.

5. Your INFP is obsessed with something. No really, your INFP has something that it loves and expresses said love for it. Whether it is something as small as a fascination with rocks to a unhealthy love of rainbows. Please indulge this. INFP will show this feature the more you spend time with them. Pro Tip: If you get a gift for INFP that involves said obsession, you will become their favorite person ever and will likely keep with gift in a place and remember you every time they look at it. Plus they will likely never expect you to do this for them.

6. Your INFP is not good at confrontation. Your INFP DOES NOT like confrontation and will do anything to avoid it. They are diplomats and they keep true to the title. They try to make peace in bad situations and can often stop fights by being the nuetral go between. They are able to see both sides of the coin and will try their best to make everyone happy. Please avoid confrontation to spare INFPs becoming mentally exhausted/Upset/using every emotion they have and know of…

7. INFPs are VERY GOOD AT CONFRONTATION. (Yes we are aware of what was stated above in 6) While INFP does not like confrontation, when a friend of INFP has been wronged, it is as if something snapped in INFP and suddenly INFP will become bullet proof and will destroy its target. In plain terms, your Golden Retriever has now switched to full on Rottweiler guard dog mode. If you want this action not to be completed on your behalf, you must tell INFP before it annihilates the person that has wronged you. They have a very hurtful almost eerie way of completing this action and It is not pretty. Distract INFP with something shiny or its favorite thing to spare the person.

8. Your INFP in the embodiment of the word contradiction. (See 6 &7) Your INFP can be decisive and indecisive on the same day at basically the same time. One moment your INFP will be meek and mild like a lamb about one thing, and as vicious as a bear protecting it’s young about another. This is normal and in time will become less and less surprising.

Pro Tip: Don’t try to change this quality. It actually adds to INFPs quirkiness and overall personality. Plus their feelings WILL get hurt

9. Your INFP is very strong and can be very stubborn, but will cave if they love a person. Treat your INFP with care as their love for you will make them give in to doing most of what you want to make you happy. Consult with your INFP to be sure what you re doing/planning makes them happy too. More often than not it will, but they will appreciate the consideration and only love you more. (Be prepared for a 15-30 minutes conversation and possible tangents)

10. Your INFP needs to talk to you! Your INFP has a habit of keeping everything in. In their mind, the less they trouble you with their problems, somehow to them makes it better for everyone else. If left unchecked, INFP will slowly erode and self destruct and feel unlved and misunderstood. You must ask them how they are doing and spend one on one time with them often. It would be simple if asking how your INFP was was a simple as asking “how are you?” But it is NOT. You must sometimes be a little forceful. Show that you care.

Pro Tip: Invite INFP over for bonding time. Give them a warm cup of coffee/tea and a cozy place to sit. Be ready to listen. CAUTION! This will likely take from 2-8+ hours. Make a day for it!

These are the top 10 instructions for your new INFP friend! We would post more, but sadly the model INFP comes with 75 additional volumes each with 700+ pages per volume! But this is a good way to get started and get to knowing your new INFP!

Have fun with your new friend and Congratulations!

Sadly such a mood XD

I have neurodermatitis so if you ever want to know how I really am, just take a look at my hands. If I say I am fine but my hands look like they’ve got third degree burns than I am most probably in a poor state of mind, lying my ass of ya kno LMAO

~

. . .

I have absolutely no idea what those flowers/bushes are called ..

I think I'll keep uploading flower pictures

I don't know what I'm doing..