Chill Aesthetic - Blog Posts

Hey everyone, I’m new to Tumblr. Here, I’m all about chill vibes, lofi, aesthetic posts, and art. Peace out dudes ✌🏼☮️

26 Oct (Intro. Number Theory)

This is by far the worst class that I have taken. Consistently I have been with the lowest grade, and my overall understanding of this class is abysmal. Despite being in my professor’s office every day.

In any case I make a point to strive for perfection, and not understanding something haunts me to my core. In any case I am forever hopeful. Im happy to be back, and I have lots to share

🎧 Momma Told Me - Earthgang

Stay Up y’all

It is honestly saddening that I used to have to deal with this. Reposting for the fact that there are a lot of black students who have succumb to this mentality. Be proud of your education.

23 April (life update)

So, keeping things honest I’m not doing the best right now friends. Over the course of the last 2 weeks one of my parents had a heart attack and the other is now on life support.

I really appreciate all of you who continue to support me and this study blog.

Morale of the story is that bad things happen to all of us, but it’s our actions after the fact that define us

Stay up ✌🏾

🎧 Trappin in paradise 78 - smooth sounds

9 April (The joy of being in STEM)

Today was not the best by any stretch of the imagination. I was fighting myself most of the day trying to get my HW done despite putting in good time to try and complete it, the topics just aren’t resonating.

I find myself once again dragging behind the rest of my peers despite studying just as hard as they do. Sadly, I couldn’t tell you the last time I actually had a weekend to myself, or a nice moment that wasn’t overshadowed by the crippling weight of school.

I wish there were more instructors who truly understood that different students have different needs.

Stay up✌🏿

🎧 Einaudi: Fox Tracks (Day 1) - Ludovico Einaudi

7 April (Calc 4: happy exhaustion)

Today was rough, but I feel like I’m getting the hang of maximum and minimum values (thank you so much Lagrange).

I will say that I’m running into a bit of an existential crisis as far as my career is concerned. I feel like I really enjoy physics and am going to love making a job out of it, but this online learning environment is painful.

I want to actually do physics now that I have a better mathematical understanding, but at the same time I can only put forth so much effort in a class that has no social interaction. I can’t help but feel neglected considering I know how amazing my physics instructor is and knowing I’ll never officially have a “class” with him.

I’ve been struggling with my BPD as of late and it’s making me a bit more emotional than normal, but I’m taking strides to work through my issues.

A bit of positive news, I’m getting more comfortable on my skateboard, and am looking to land my first heelflip soon

You are strong

You are beautiful

You are powerful

Now go change the world

Stay up ✌🏿

🎧 The Watchtower - Sigimund

4 April (thoughts)

I never really took the time to explain what the big picture is, so I’m going to attempt to explain it here

I want to be a great dad. As cheesy as it might sound, I love the idea of being a positive father, and father-figure to those who need that person in their life. To this day my dad doesn’t claim me, and much as I love my mom, there are still some things that I would have looked for from him. I will be the change

I want to be a millionaire, and establish various forms of income that can be utilized after my journey on earth is complete. I have already began investing, and look to retire (read: not work as hard) around age 40.

I want to make the world a better place. The earth is OUR mother, and its OUR job to protect her. I have created an animal rights groups, organized adopt-a-highway’s, gone to and organized many protests (the March For Science being to this day the biggest protest I’ve ever helped create).

I want to own a RHD (right hand drive) Snow White FC-RX-7. I adored Initial-D growing up and Ryosuke’s was the first car I actually fell in love with. I was able to own one for a short while, but due to a lack of money, and time I was never actually able to complete the build. I try to play it off like it was no big deal, but that car really meant a lot to me, and it’s my goal to do it right.

I want to be an example of a great physicist, and a symbol of black excellence. I want to show that if I, a vegan, pan, non-binary person can get their Ph.D doing what they love DESPITE being homeless and abused, then you can too.

In case you need to hear this

1. You are loved

2. You are accepted no matter who you are

3. My inbox is always open

Stay up ✌🏿

🎧 my thoughts

2 April (Calc 4 and Diff. Eq)

These classes are the embodiment of a toxic relationship (but in the best of ways). The overall course load is a lot and most days I am struggling to get done by 10pm, but I can confidently say I FEEL LIKE A MATHEMATICIAN.

The math I’m doing now has real world applications. Yeah finding the slope of a line is cool, but when you find the vector tangent to the curve that accurately depicts the heating or cooling of a particular environment per mile THAT’S ACTUALLY USEFUL, AND HELPFUL TO THE WORLD.

On one hand, I have late nights followed by early mornings, and a fair amount of stress.

On the other, I have an overwhelming sense of validation, pride, and comfort.

This post goes out to @juicycupz, she was hands down the best partner I’ve ever had. While we may not be together now, she definitely played a major role in who I am now.

Stay up ✌🏿

🎧 Trappin in paradise 65 - Smooth Sounds

My desk/dorm area

the aftermath of studying for 11hrs

31 March (Calc 4)

Today seemed to me an uphill battle from the start. I woke up to heart issues and dealing with an embedded lip ring (again), but I didn’t let that stop me.

I managed to get all of my work done, and am now trying to get further ahead so hopefully I won’t get crushed later on down the line.

Apologies for the short video, my iPhone corrupted most of the time lapse

Stay up y’all ✌🏿

🎧 L’Enfant Sauvage - Gojira

17 March (last day of classes)

This quarter has collectively brought out the best and and worst in me. From dealing with heart issues, to dealing with mental issues it hasn’t been a fun time.

I had hopes of getting straight A’s, but ultimately I find myself once again looking just to get through it without failing (read: anything less than a B+). The burnout has been real and very hard to with but, I persevered.

It’s ok just to get through the quarter...

I love y’all ✌🏿

15 March (linear algebra study session)

Today was rough, I was constantly fighting tooth and nail to study, and ultimately didn’t get much done. As much as I love being neurodivergent, it definitely has its drawbacks. However I am going to be headed back to the doctor soon to try and help with my focus.

Just because someone looks alright doesn’t mean that they are conversely, don’t assume that people who don’t look the best are struggling.

I love all of you beautiful creatures

🎧 The Internet x The Chopstars - Ego Death

Chill notes

With a pen that’s as old as I am (I really need new stationary :-| )

🎧 Oldschool Rap - Lofi Mix #1 by VoidGalaxy

there’s something about crisp notes that genuinely bring me peace.

{ 02-04-18 } 91/100 days of productivity

29 days until the start of my exams … i am trembling …