Love Yourselves - Blog Posts

I sick of people telling what I am

For the past month I look up biracial on Twitter and youtube most of the time it "you not black enough" or "you not white enough" then what am I? Bc a lot of people on both platforms said I can't be both. I'm biracial (white/black) I have a lot of black features and some white features but when I come to my skintone I both bc my mom is really pale and my dad is really dark an my skintone is in between. My hair is kinky (like really kinky) my eyes are brown

My skintone have brown in it

My eye shape is similar to my dad's

And my nose

I get this from my dad side.

But some features are on my mom side

Like my ear size

some time my face

Her height

Her body shape.

I'm both of them so please stop saying shit like " your not black enough for this" just bc I don't talk or joke the same as you same thing with the white side and I getting really tired of people saying I have to choose one side of my family and then tell me I not enough for this.

I love my both side of my family and I not going to choose one just to please your views on me!

look. i don’t think my stretch marks are beautiful. i don’t think they’re tiger stripes or natural tattooos. i don’t think my acne is beautiful. i don’t think the bags under my eyes are beautiful. i just think they’re human. and i don’t think i have to be beautiful all of the time in order to be accepted and loved and sucessful. i don’t think every small detail of my outer appearence needs to be translated into prettiness.

One Day At A Time

I’ve always hated myself. For as long as I can remember. My memories go back to 4 years old and at that age, I remember hating myself. I thought other people did too. I always thought that the people who said “I love you” were saying it, just to say it or saying it out of habit, it never felt real to me. I felt as if no one cared or wanted to care about me. No one wants me. No one loves me. I hate myself. I’m ugly. I’m fat. My scars are gross. I’m too tall. I’m not skinny. I’m weird. I’m below average in everything. I’m dumb. These are all things I’ve said or thought about myself and this is just a short list. I never felt as though I belonged anywhere or with anyone. 

I want to change that.

I’ve always wanted to change myself but it never worked.

I always wanted to be that person with good friends and family that made me feel safe and loved. I always wanted to feel “beautiful”. I always wanted someone to love me.

I always wanted to love myself.

I guess that’s what I really want, to love myself. I just don’t know how to do it. I’ve tried and I’ve always failed. How do you love yourself? Maybe it is a skill you learn as you grow up. Maybe it’s just something people just want to forget is living in their brain.

I want to love myself now. And everyday from now on I will try. And I guess I will keep starting over and over again for as long as it takes because I am worth it.

I am worthy.

I am worthy of love and affection. I am everything everyone has said about me and more. I am worthy of love. I am worthy of positivity. I am beautiful. I am smart. I am wanted. I am needed. 

I will love myself one day at a time.

Ok so I'm very angry. I had another blog all about body positivity. It was photos of mine and other people bodies (photos sent to me asked to be put up I didn't just screen shot porn lol) with a positive message everywhere. If you are banning our bodies you are taking away the message that we don't have to hide our imperfections. So fuck you Tumblr.

So if you please listen to this rant

I wanted to put makeup on cuz it makes me feel confident. We had no time because we had to be there soon, and my dad asks me the question “who are you putting it on for?” And my confidence is very frail because when you meet me it might seem like I’m the most confident person and I don’t care what people think of me and for the most part that is true but my looks are something I’ve always been self concise about don’t get me wrong I also have parts I love like my eyes and my hair but I also have I hate like my eyebrows are too big, my nose is too big, I have a big forehead and my eye shape is weird. And whith makeup I can take the attention of of those things and to hear someone diminishing that and chalking it up to impressing a boy is just plain horrible. Because I also know I’m asexual and I’ve tried to tell my parents (don’t get me wrong they’re super supportive they just don’t understand asexuality) they always say “you’ll meet the right one”,or when I say “I don’t want babies.” They say “let’s come back to that in ten years.” Like I’m stubborn if I say I don’t want something and you say “let’s come back to this in ten years” I’m gonna stick by that just to be petty + my parents took away my BOOKS because I was grumpy about what they said.

Anyway if you’re still here thanks and please tell me if I’m over reacting about this