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Midwest Gothic - Blog Posts
i hope we get out of this alive
let the music drown it out
i’ll never be good enough in my mind
i don’t need you to fix everything, i just need to know you’ll be there for me.
me when i’m my mothers daughter
me when i’m my fathers daughter…
you can’t save everyone. you can’t fix them.
even happiness exhausts me, i need a cigarette and to die
rotting away from the inside out
drove to portland and back in 2 days
i sink my teeth in, every bite i take i crave more of you
Our eyes are static
Leave your headlights off if you park alongside the endless field
Hopefully we won't find you before sunrise
There's no signal out here
(very unreasonable) times i decided to go exploring
it was 30°F and i decided to climb the silo at my grandparents' farm without gloves (its about 60ft tall) (just exposed rungs running up the outside of it) (it was freezing) (the bottom is surrounded by concrete) (i climbed all the way to the top) (did not tell anyone i was going)
later that year, in the summer, i wanted to go find deer bones where the hunters toss their leftovers in the woods so i went in flip flops and an oversized hoodie (walked about half a mile to get there) (carried the bones back tied together in a random piece of cloth) (had the time to grab the cloth but not actual shoes) (did not tell anyone i was going)
wanted to climb a tree. went out to the woods via rolling under the electric cow fence and climbed as high as the branches could hold me, read a book (was there for around three hours) (the cows looked confused) (did not tell anyone i was going)
was starved for outside time after moving to uni, found some trails going through the woods (went wandering around on them after dark because i didnt want to miss the sun set) (had no idea how far the trails went) (it was almost pitch black when i got back) (did not tell anyone i was going)
on that same note, if i couldnt sleep id wander around campus with my headphones on at 3am (my roommate says im not supposed to do this anymore) (because i didnt tell anyone i was going)
tonight i wanted to poke through some trails i havent been on and a park off campus so i did (i had all day after class) (decided to go after sunset) (right before a thunderstorm) (as usual, did not tell anyone i was going)
Self-portrait, East Tennessee cabin. Prints available: https://www.ambar-garcia.com
