Schizo - Blog Posts

It doesn’t seem in our world anyone truly cares about it. We are aware and when we are aware we dont particularly follow quality. There’s nothing wrong with living that way, living like a mechanical person, doing same things over and over even though cold to the mind is warmful to your heart, just because of far worse existence as mind that is cruel in its apoptosis forming network of sin. It’s comfy. Being static and habitual, ultimately one would want to learn many skills and excel at these skills instead of picking as many hobbies as fraud maniac, but I myself think who reads my rambling? Do human beings only tender to what is in their benefit? Do they understand what these cretins want too?

thomas ^_^

AFTER A LONG NIGHT OF VERY VIVID/INTENSE HALLUCINATIONS AND DELUSIONS, THE SCARIEST PART HAD TO BE GETTING UP TO PUT SOME PANTS ON AND SEEING THE OUTLINE OF A BARSTOOL IN THE DARK.

Serious post & kinda rant

TW: mental health & maybe illness

One of my very frequent problems I have is something I can’t really explain in its entirety, because words feel too strict, nor do I understand it. The way i interpret reality feels very loose, as it’s difficult to discern what is and is not real, usually since I am pretty much seeing and hearing people, but not people, that aren’t there, other things too but I can’t find the words. Generally, after much introspection, they seem to happen more episodal, I find during these ‘episodes’ I am believing things that aren’t grounded in reality and are frankly absurd and ineffable. And, my mind feels like it contorting or being stirred during them Though, they tend to vanish once they are over.

Strangely, I think —I’m not at all sure though, so some skepticism is warranted— that minimising the amount of sensory information (light, sound etcetera) are minimising the non-episodal hallucinations. Saying that my senses aren’t entirely distinct anyways (probable synesthesia), and overlap a lot.

This has been a constant for my entire life (as much as I can remember at least). I have needed to remind myself that I’m not schizo (-phrenic / -affective) to stop me feeling like I’m crazy.

Anyways, to the point, does anyone relate? And where would it get me if i attempted to find some label, diagonsis, So I can understand wtf this is?

I would also like to state I mean no insult to people who have schizophrenia, schizoaffective disorders or anything similar. All i seek is some guidance from the void, about their own personal experiences.

I might of missed of some things, since I am only a few months to more dedicated introspection on this.

That is all.

if i ever have twins deadass i'd name them Schizo and Phrenia idc what anyone says ts go hard